Kipkoech.

Vibes and Inshallah.

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

The next time these kids of Matiangi ask me “Bag niya nini” in this office, I swear before Yehova Wanyonyi, I'll dislocate someone's Shingoo. Nonsense!!

[Kalonzo Musyoka @skmusyoka]

Ati bag ni ya nini? Alele mtoto na Card basi! 😂

[Kimuzi @Kimuzi_]

Nani amewaimeza tobacco hapa??

😂😂Hio shit can make you see stars. You will diarrhea until you dehydrate.

Msee pale village aliwaidrop Kwa food ya mazishi, village Yote ikaendesha mamen.

[Lil Mut¡e 🇰🇪 @meshackmutie27]

Juzi my nephew (2 years old) alipotelea supermarket kuenda kwa customer care kuangalia CCTV tulimpata amejificha Kwa fridge anakunywa yogurt 😂😂

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Shiet! What is this cold! Hii mwezi maji itaguzika kweli mungu baba

[James @MrJamesKe]

If Jalang'o gets the Senate seat, I'll fully believe Nairobi is home to some of the most intellectually challenged voters in the country.

[Mbiti Mwondi Maino,MD @mbiti_mwondi]

I am not seeing Polo Kimani et al complaining here about validation. Ama anafix wire za CCTV Sagana 😂😂

[George T. Diano @georgediano]

Yehova Wanyonyi has finally remembered the daughter of Kamagut. This weekend, Sugoi is expected to resemble a barbecue festival as Charlene Ruto hosts her Koito âk Chaik, the traditional Kalenjin wedding ceremony. Rumor has it the guest list reads like a government payroll, featuring Cabinet Secretaries, CEOs, tenderpreneurs, and every wealthy gentleman who has ever described himself as a humble servant of the people.

To ensure maximum comfort, the venue will reportedly have two VIP sections... One for the Who Is Who, and another for the Who Is Also There also known as Walala Hoii. Walala Hoii who are financially handicapped in the society will be rewarded with a full-course meal, endless refreshments, and premium Kanamba speciioo a.k.a podipodi strong enough to make them start calling each other cousins.

Whether you're WANTAM, TUTAM, or simply EATAM, there's something on the menu for everyone. The only requirement is to arrive with an empty stomach and carry an avocado, because in this economy you don't leave such responsibilities to the hosts.

We wish Charlene and her better half a joyful marriage,, one that's permanently vaccinated against DUST, Unnecessary WhatsApp investigations, and late-night phone calls from yellow yellow damsels. Chesaa! Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

[MOSET @KeKirwa]

St. Anthony Boys Kitale is the only school that allows its footballers to grow. Mtoi anapiga four years anaenda huko nje kutafuta. Pale Kakamega school kuna defender amekuwa akichezea hyo shule since 2017.

[MOSET @KeKirwa]

Huwa umekapitia sana kwa hii mambo ya mapenzi chepkirui

[MOSET @KeKirwa]

That circumcised marakwet woman ako na roho chafu sana I called her out last year akaniblock. She wants to continue sending her sister 1000 shillings every month instead of getting her an outlier account aingie hustle ajitegemee.

[MOSET @KeKirwa]

Building a better house at home after years of living kwa nyumba ya matope is more than just a house for your parents. It's more about the dignity of the family. Mnaanza hata kupata heshima buana.

[𝐉!𝐌𝐌𝐘 🔰 @kafangi]

Ukioa from a rich family jua hakuna siku Christmas itafanyiwa kwako.

[🐉🏍️ @Kamau266]

Never understood the thought process of these people who get money or go abroad and build their 60s year old parents a multimillion house..They dont need that house at that age when they don't even sleep in the same room. ata heri uwapandishe ndege waende wajibambe.

[MOSET @KeKirwa]

I understand why Sudi amepeleka watoi wake international schools and universities abroad. The kind of bullying he has received because he didn't go to school inaeza peleka mtu depression 😂😂

[Hanifa 🇵🇸 🇸🇩 🇨🇩 🇰🇪 @Honeyfarsafi]

Ever since Kennar expanded his target audience to the entire Africa and not just Kenya he’s been doing amazing 🔥

[Wamutahi @Son_of_Laikipia]

Twitter user Kamau Waruhiu😂.

[Mbiti Mwondi Maino,MD @mbiti_mwondi]

I had a good time invigilating UoN 6th years today,and one thing I’ve never understood is how someone can become a consultant or registrar mtiaji. Those guys were shocked by how easy and friendly I was,makes me think during our time we had monsters bwana.

[Mbiti Mwondi Maino,MD @mbiti_mwondi]

😂😂😂 Easy boy small dick energy nikutishia watu na I went to Maseno, UoN,fielder na prado ya mzazi with nothing else on your name. Big dick energy is being bullish and confident as a doctor showing leadership and empathy sio kutishiwa na COs and reminding other doctors sijui you went to UoN. In my world that’s not a flex that’s normal shit,
I will make it my mission to make sure you don’t keep embarrassing we the alumni with two bit bus bench achievements.
Again I am that nigga who will call out your bullshit. And I am only engaging you because you appear to be intelligent but lacking wisdom otherwise with my 4 degrees and exposure you’re way beneath me to be addressing you. So this is me being humble,stay guided!!

[Jakonyango @Ja_Konyango]

Haha, I will mention in every single room i walk into that I have a bachelor of medicine and bachelor of surgery from the university of Nairobi that I got on merit

Mtu anawashwa pia aseme tu yake in the room they walk into

Sikutoka Onenonam primary, niende Maseno, nifike UoN alafu mnigag hapa