Jonas Amazonas

[Tony Chau @SaskioLoL]

I met someone in the League of Legend space years ago online

never met in person

Jubes

she flies into Vancouver for the riftbound event

cosplaying yuumi

carrying a spellbook that is MASSIVE

then hosts a korean bbq for 40 people that same night

she walks in

I stick my hand out to introduce myself

she declines the handshake

goes straight for the hug

before i can react

and i realized

this woman doesn't just play yuumi

she IS yuumi

she's the actual champion

she spent the whole night bouncing between tables

ordering soju for tables

flagging the staff for refills before anyone asked

remembering names of people who met 4 minutes ago

translating between two friend groups that didn't know each other yet

every table she touched got 2 levels stronger

we stood up to talk

she's standing 0.4 meters from me

the average comfortable distance between two strangers is 1.2 meters

but it doesn't feel weird

she's just running on a completely different operating system

tilts her head sideways to the left every time you say something interesting

like a cat actually trying to process the sound

when she's recalling a memory her eyes drift up and right for exactly half a second

then snap back to yours

i could tell every story was real because of where her eyes went

she looks up and to the right

at the actual memory like it's on a shelf above your head

she'd pause mid sentence to wave at someone across the room

then pick the sentence back up at the exact word she left off

never lost the thread

never said "wait what was i saying"

this isn't social skill

this is something deeper

this is a woman who has never played a single carry champion in her life

this is someone whose entire nervous system is wired to peel for other people

she didn't pick yuumi

yuumi picked her

Study the Saskio way

[J.K. @jdotkdot5]

so the regular bread is Brot
and cute and tiny ones are Brötchen
it's like bread-chan

[Beff Jezos @beffjezosOG]

@activbristol Did anyone else get pissed off watching this or is it just me ?

[Joshua Schmidt @Gamebreak0r]

look its the best duelist teaming up with a washed duelist for the 3v3

(who‘s who is up to you)

[Jack Freeman @jackfreeman]

She had multiple tvs in her home and hired people to change the tapes all day everyday

She also owned 192 apple computers. All mostly unopened.

She also invested in Apple stock when the company was failing

She had 150 magazine subscriptions, several newspaper subscriptions, 40,000 books and collected toys.

The last thing playing on her tv when she died was the news report of the sandy hook shooting

[Steven Trifunoski 🔱 @TrifGaming]

@sylveesimstcg You ever play against enneacraft?

[Jonas Amazonas @damborin]

@FarfaYGO 100% of my bad experiences at events where with bad players

[𝙕𝙖𝙘𝙝 @TheRealZachR]

@DespairNem I think they are more shocked about how shit the music is

[Jonas Amazonas @damborin]

@Wickdlol 2018 i turned that shit off instantly

To be fair i played it once in 2012 on my brothers pc but that doesnt count

[Jonas Amazonas @damborin]

@IdiotB9720 @hazzagraps Mizz vs ziggler no mercy was also fantastic

[Trevor Allen 🩺 🥼 @TrevorAllenMD]

Body so iconic you don’t even need the face to recognize her

[CalebDOTexe (they❄️/them🐉) @CalebDOTexe_]

Thought I'd whip up a realistic banlist wishlist

[Jonas Amazonas @damborin]

@Crucile @drewlevin So you are a dickhead good talk

[spectrae 🍁 Fanmerch Mail Order TBA @smilingspectra]

I'm so embarrassed to know just recently, after about a year since the cards released, that this line exists

[WrestlePurists @WrestlePurists]

Randy Orton says Ted DiBiase Jr. owes him $25,000

“Clip this sh*t, put it out there. Maybe he’ll hear it and pay me.”

💀

(The Schmo via ultimatekiko)

[Darius |🐻Vtuber @DariusBearVT]

I bought a new gaming laptop to work and play league of legends downstairs with my wife and dogs, she asked if she could watch me play a game and I SHIT YOU NOT she said

“Is there any strategy or game mechanic you’re taking advantage of by dying a lot”

[freezai @freezaiYT]

Aerodactyl is HIM

• Fastest Non-Priority Tailwind
• Rock Slide OHKO Mega-Charizard (#2 Mega) and Talonflame
• Dual Wingbeat OHKO Sneasler and Whimsicott
• Unnerve in a berry metagame
• Perfect Synergy with Mega Floette (#1 Mega)

Use Aerodactyl + Garchomp + Mega Floette

[horse dentist @equine__dentist]

absolutely enthralled by this ghoulmaxxer

[12,000 angry bees @WWaltuhh]

Your days are numbered.