Thizzard Kelly

Amateur jokester. nothing’s real on social media. Fantasy Football champion (2022, 2025).

[Thizzard Kelly @Dammit_Eric]

keepinupwforeign girl: “fuck Uber, that’s why I’m always on Lyft”

Lyft:

[Grinch @Uncatfishable]

All that sucking up just to get left outside lmaoooooo losers

[Kait Devir @DevirKaitlin]

New York or Nowhere. 📸 photos by me

[Brian Ross @brewmeone]

Australians watching their team go down 0-2 to Team USA…

[marisa 🍉 @marisaatam]

WAKE UP EVERYONE IT'S USMNT WORLD CUP GAME DAY AGAINNNNN

[The Weeknd @theweeknd]

Out of Time is one of my favorite songs that I’ve ever written. It would not exist without the magic of Tomoko Aran.

[Thizzard Kelly @Dammit_Eric]

Sometimes I wonder how often one of the islanders get a text and do that whole “I GOT A TEEEEEEXT AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! 👅” shit

And it’s just the producers telling them “go tf to sleep” #LoveIslandUSA

[Thizzard Kelly @Dammit_Eric]

Disrespectful 😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Angelo 🧱 @AGLR_23]

Dylan Harper and De'Aaron Fox

[derek guy @dieworkwear]

Must feel so amazing right now to be a Vietnamese man in NYC named Nicks Nguyen and hearing the whole city chant your name

[Pat Cavlin @pcavlin]

World Cup tourists in NYC really have no idea what they’re about to witness if the Knicks win tonight…..

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[Justin Lasker @LittleLask]

I got another angle of this lmao

[Hoop Central @TheHoopCentral]

Knicks fans were celebrating and threw this cone perfectly on someone’s head

This clip is unreal. 🤣🤣🤣

(via @sidetalknyc)

[Thizzard Kelly @Dammit_Eric]

Not really

[E! Insider @einsider]

Taylor Swift had the right idea 👀

[Vanessa Richardson @SportsVanessa]

The most epic picture I’ve ever taken; Wu-Tang Clan with Ernie Johnson.

They were rehearsing for their halftime performance and every single one of them stopped to say hi to EJ!

@TurnerSportsEJ @WuTangClan

[NBARetweet @RTNBA]

Ernie Johnson x Wu-Tang Clan 🔥🔥🔥

h/t @ohnohedidnt24

[Thizzard Kelly @Dammit_Eric]

Taylor Swift really tryna secure that MSG venue for the wedding

[Thizzard Kelly @Dammit_Eric]

Trump killed the vibes and ruined the Knicks win streak

lmfaoooo

[Thizzard Kelly @Dammit_Eric]

@nypost That PR team not even hiding it no more.

Watch it get streamed on Disney+ too

[Gianluca Minoprio @gminoprio]

They literally just made the black mirror episode