Dr. Unkula

Urghhh. I need to stop being so titular.

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

Poem:

Optimus Prime,
Is a devious swine.
He looks like a lorry half of the time.

#poemsIMadeUpHavingAwee #Transformers #poignant #thatsDeep

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

@REO_REbOrn85 @RetroPrincess1 So are people doing it meant to feel shame? Where I'm from it's brought a community spirit and I've got to talk to neighbours I've never talked to before?

Am I a monster now? I need to know, I don't know the rules.

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

@ThatJacquiOne Why don't they just have a mesh saddle sheath and a hole through the saddle so that when you let out your bum-song that it goes down the saddle pipe and maybe there's a kazoo on the other end and you can clench until it's time to warn others you're near with a raspy retort? WHY?

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

@WonkyBearhead @thatbitchbunty I partially unscrewed the knob from a saucepan lid so it wouldn't dampen the resonance and it sounded like the huge gong from the start of the old fillums where that lad bangs a huge gong.

I've considering playing the national anthem Jimmy Hendrix style but maybe it's too wanky.

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

@thatbitchbunty Moist Toy Story
Pan's Moist Labyrinth
Clost Encounters of the Third Moist Kind
12 Moist Angry Men
Moist Psycho
It's a Wonderful Moist Life

I've not looked at what's out there already

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

What yew avvin fa teeeeea, luv?

I'm trying to earn my first Iceland star!

Katona comes round to give you them if you earn three. Then it's up to you to work out how to get rid of her.

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

@GentlemanNikki Depends. If it's an uncut loaf if you can spritz it or just give it a gentle souse under the tap and put it on the oven for 5 minutes it'll re-gelatinise the starches and seem like it's fresh again.

If it's sliced you can wrap it in foil and do the same trick.

#BreadNerdery

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

@GentlemanNikki Oh no - I might have to throw it away and forget the recipe - it is legit dangerous.

I want to make a paddling pool full of cheese and jump up and down in it so when I get out and it cools I've got cheese wellies.

#CheeseWellies #CheddarCrocs #StiltonSandals #EdamEspadrilles

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

I just made sodium citrate. That is all.

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

@GentlemanNikki I found out that bath bombs make your bath into a solution of sodium citrate, seriously! So if you were clumsy and dropped your cheese in the bath - cheese soup!

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

I love this. It left me grinning and melancholic. #SNL

https://t.co/ckXB2QXhZ9

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

Aaaaaand look at this beauty!

https://t.co/kweV3WSDoH

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

Take a look at this: It's more powerful than the real thing!

https://t.co/zdHmXLanzc

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

@thatbitchbunty I can has thees in mah bum, tho fine good still there?

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

@GentlemanNikki The carrot is infinitely more fascinating than the geranium... as I learnt today.

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

#YesIStoleTheIdea

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

I'm in me moom's car - brooom brooom

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

I recommend watching it alone in the night so you can soak up the stillness and then sit there in silence for a bit afterwards while it's still 'there'.

It led me to music I loved as a kid but never knew who it was : The Free Design.

How I sound inside

https://t.co/eBsLrsnrH9

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

If you miss The Good Place and want to watch something that's nothing like it but is its own kinda special then watch #Forever on Amazon.

It has wonderful stillness and then every so often an absolutely perfect choice of song.

[Dr. Unkula @damoralised]

@ThatEricAlper An huge neon sign that says "Becks" that I was going to give to my friend Becks then I thought - nah fuggid meece keepin.

A unopened "Riker" T-shirt I DID give to a housemate I found unopened when he left.

A 50 litre barrel full of moonshine I'm starting to wish I didn't have.