First heartbreak by someone you really loved teaches you one thing: that you are genuinely capable of putting someone first. You’ll be proud of yourself for it. Probably look for it again. But because the loss is always too painful, the trauma shocks you into protection, I believe.
We somehow stop trying to look for that type of love that made us go crazy, that made us made with admiration. Partly because we fear it, and partly because it’s hard to come by. We try to get used to a new type of love, this one that feels safe, we say. Maybe love indeed happens differently as we grow. Or maybe we’re scared to admit that perhaps after the first, it never quite happens the same way again. The thing with love that burns, is that it kills too.
Setting boundaries can be pretty easy, the most difficult part is actually sticking to those boundaries.
It's a different kind of hurt, a painful but necessary one.
We live in a culture where a “good” partner is faithful. Not understanding that being emotionally unavailable is another form of betrayal— it’s just normalized.