DDVECCI

'My cup overfloweth with the oil of His Grace- '
I REFUSE TO BOW TO EVIL – Psalm 23 | The Lord Is My Shepherd
- by Mason Cross ✝️ rock -ignite your faith

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@DonaldTrumpVois A. yes

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

"This is not humour.
This is my autobiography."
Municipal Physics in South Arica
Vendor obligations
Immediate
Contractual
Time-bound
Penalised
Escalated
Reported weekly
Prove you can survive us not paying you.
Customer obligations
Subject to processes
Subject to approval
Subject to budget
Subject to cashflow
Subject to committee
Subject to "ag, you know..."

Service Provider: "The contract says 30 days."
Customer: "Yes."
30 days later: "The invoice is with finance."
30 days later: "The approver is on leave."
30 days later: "Treasury has not released funding."
30 days later: "Ag, you know... cashflow is a problem."
And then we get the South African masterpiece:
Customer: "We appreciate your patience."
Vendor: "I don't have patience anymore. I have overdraft."

The 12 Stages of Municipal Payment™
(A Survival Guide for South African Service Providers)
Stage 1: Hope
Invoice submitted.
Contract says 30 days.
Finance confirms receipt.
You foolishly believe this means something.
Stage 2: Confidence
Day 30 arrives.
You enquire politely.
Response:
"It's with Finance."
You feel reassured.
This feeling will pass.
Stage 3: Acceptance
Day 45.
You enquire again.
Response:
"The relevant person is attending a workshop."
You nod because you don't yet understand the journey ahead.
Stage 4: The Approver Migration
Day 60.
Response:
"The approver is on leave."
This is the first time you realise the approver may never have existed in physical form.
Stage 5: Treasury Enters the Chat
Day 90.
Response:
"Treasury has not yet released funding."
You begin wondering why Treasury wasn't consulted before the contract was signed.
Stage 6: Committee Season
Day 120.
Response:
"The matter must first serve before committee."
Nobody can identify:
which committee,
when it meets, or
what the matter actually is.
Stage 7: The Missing Signature
Day 150.
Response:
"We're just waiting for one signature."
This signature possesses supernatural powers.
It can halt projects worth millions for months.
Stage 8: Cashflow Reality
Day 180.
Response:
"Ag, you know... cashflow is a problem."
You resist replying:
"Yes. Mine."
Stage 9: Strategic Silence
Day 210.
Emails vanish into the abyss.
Phone calls ring unanswered.
Contact persons become theoretical concepts.
Stage 10: Escalation
Day 240.
A very important meeting occurs.
Everyone agrees payment is urgent.
Nothing happens.
Stage 11: Divine Intervention
Day 270.
You cease relying on:
accounting,
procurement,
finance, or
logic.
The matter is transferred entirely to prayer.
Stage 12: Miracle
Day 300.
Payment arrives unexpectedly.
No remittance advice.
No explanation.
No apology.
Simply money.
You immediately forget six months of trauma and continue providing services.
Because apparently you have learned nothing.
Bonus Stage
Stage 13: New Tender Issued
Three days before closing:
☎️
"A quick one..." ADD THIS TO YOUR DELIVERABLES!
And thus the cycle begins anew.

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@elonmuskusaaaaa
"This is not humour.
This is my autobiography."
Municipal Physics in South Arica
Vendor obligations
Immediate
Contractual
Time-bound
Penalised
Escalated
Reported weekly
Prove you can survive us not paying you.
Customer obligations
Subject to processes
Subject to approval
Subject to budget
Subject to cashflow
Subject to committee
Subject to "ag, you know..."

Service Provider: "The contract says 30 days."
Customer: "Yes."
30 days later: "The invoice is with finance."
30 days later: "The approver is on leave."
30 days later: "Treasury has not released funding."
30 days later: "Ag, you know... cashflow is a problem."
And then we get the South African masterpiece:
Customer: "We appreciate your patience."
Vendor: "I don't have patience anymore. I have overdraft."

The 12 Stages of Municipal Payment™
(A Survival Guide for South African Service Providers)
Stage 1: Hope
Invoice submitted.
Contract says 30 days.
Finance confirms receipt.
You foolishly believe this means something.
Stage 2: Confidence
Day 30 arrives.
You enquire politely.
Response:
"It's with Finance."
You feel reassured.
This feeling will pass.
Stage 3: Acceptance
Day 45.
You enquire again.
Response:
"The relevant person is attending a workshop."
You nod because you don't yet understand the journey ahead.
Stage 4: The Approver Migration
Day 60.
Response:
"The approver is on leave."
This is the first time you realise the approver may never have existed in physical form.
Stage 5: Treasury Enters the Chat
Day 90.
Response:
"Treasury has not yet released funding."
You begin wondering why Treasury wasn't consulted before the contract was signed.
Stage 6: Committee Season
Day 120.
Response:
"The matter must first serve before committee."
Nobody can identify:
which committee,
when it meets, or
what the matter actually is.
Stage 7: The Missing Signature
Day 150.
Response:
"We're just waiting for one signature."
This signature possesses supernatural powers.
It can halt projects worth millions for months.
Stage 8: Cashflow Reality
Day 180.
Response:
"Ag, you know... cashflow is a problem."
You resist replying:
"Yes. Mine."
Stage 9: Strategic Silence
Day 210.
Emails vanish into the abyss.
Phone calls ring unanswered.
Contact persons become theoretical concepts.
Stage 10: Escalation
Day 240.
A very important meeting occurs.
Everyone agrees payment is urgent.
Nothing happens.
Stage 11: Divine Intervention
Day 270.
You cease relying on:
accounting,
procurement,
finance, or
logic.
The matter is transferred entirely to prayer.
Stage 12: Miracle
Day 300.
Payment arrives unexpectedly.
No remittance advice.
No explanation.
No apology.
Simply money.
You immediately forget six months of trauma and continue providing services.
Because apparently you have learned nothing.
Bonus Stage
Stage 13: New Tender Issued
Three days before closing:
☎️
"A quick one..." ADD THIS TO YOUR DELIVERABLES!
And thus the cycle begins anew....

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

https://t.co/jYUJvAax3Q

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@Luna_Jones79 Oh dear GOD - PLEASE MAKE THEM LEAVE!

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@limeryoo 🤚

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@supatinogh A. YES

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@JDunlap1974 A. 100%

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@EshaAA33 YES
why did he only lose one eye?

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@Caroline_649 YES
Ice Agents with the protection of the military!
Clean up Mr Homan!

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@LibertyNut1 YES

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@BhattiLaib9960 "Finish it!"

that is what he promised the parents of their children that were lost, he also said: FIGHT we are coming to the Iranian people, they stood up, and thousands died -
PROMISES KEPT is what he lives by so please Mr President "FINISH IT"

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@shouq_al90149 The dog

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Please pray this prayer over our nation. PRAYER EMPHASIZING PROTECTION AND DELIVERANCE
Heavenly Father, today we bring the white communities and all innocent citizens of South Africa before You, as they contend with fear, vulnerability, and violence. Father God, You are our ultimate fortress, and we place our trust in Your divine power to shield us from evil and malice dangers. Nothing is hidden from Your sight—You know every individual and every plot being planned against us.
Lord, we pray for an absolute shield over every home, farm, and individual. Command Your angels to guard our communities and quiet the spirit of violence and evil. We ask that You bring every hidden, destructive agenda to light, frustrating the plans of anyone seeking to cause harm or death to the innocent and Your people.
Let Your Holy Spirit move powerfully across our country, healing deep wounds and replacing terror with a supernatural peace. Let Your justice prevail in every corner of our land.
May Your divine favor be upon us, and may You pour out the blessings of Your covenant upon our children and generations to come. Thank You for hearing our prayers.
In the Mighty Name of Jesus we pray. Praise Your Holy Name. AMEN and AMEN. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

inventions that came from South African Inventors and which changed the world (in our opinion) for the better (in no particular order):
The CAT/CT Scanner
The Retinal Cryoprobe
The APS Therapy Machine
The Speed Gun
The Automatic Pool Cleaner (Kreepy Krauly)
The Shark Shield
The CyberTracker
The Tellurometer
The Complex Computerized Reservation System (Computicket)
The Digital Laser
Oil from Coal
Transplant of 3D Printed Bones
Biomediical Stem Cell Technoloty
Uranium enrichment process
Ubuntu Linux Operting System - to just name a few.
AND ELON!!!

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@elonmusk PLEASE ELON, can you make a rocket that can be permanently attached to all the dumcrats, just imagine what a great world it would be if the shit they talk can just be incinerated!

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@Excellentsalvic NO
this bullshit feeling guilty because you worked your ass off to achieve anything at all is BS - they want us to appologise for not WHAT EXACTLY?

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@MrDavX A. Yes, absolutely

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@dimkovska88 YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

[DDVECCI @dan_dave]

@0ivankaTrump1 🅱️ No
Radical Islamists YES!