Dan Vetrano

comedian but this account is no more

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

I saw this movie and I still believe this is the best review

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

It is with a light heart that I must announce the end of The World's Least Successful X Account. This was certainly an easy decision to make, but the right one, regardless. Thx to the ones & ones of people who liked a few posts over the last twelve years. I'll always forget you!

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

Doing comedy in Philly for over a decade taught me that Pennsylvania has always been the country's "Red-Lite District."

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

After the election, we must fight for Tony Hinchcliffe to go on SNL and hear HIS side of the story!

I heard he's nice from someone I met at a party who was doing a 'power hour' with Arizona Hard Ice Teas.

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

Thank GOD we all finally turned on the one (and only) comedian that says sh*t like that!! Now we can all have fun 😎

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

Got too caught up on the lineup

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

As a comic myself, I MUST take a stand against racist 'comedians' who I am not already friends with. To show my support, I have deleted 1/2 the tweets defending the racist comedian from my hometown & I will not be sharing photos of our hangouts either. Enough is enough!

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

I've never met a tourist more unprepared for New York City than the guy next to me at the subway station who just asked his friend if the train has a "quiet car."

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

The threat of A.I. is real, and if you don't believe me, let me show you 800 short videos of A.I. acting funny to prove it

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

Rolling my eyes from my coca plant garden

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

If only Ariel from the Little Mermaid had fallen in love with Cap'n Crunch, she could've been a part of his world AND part of a complete breakfast

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

I still can't believe pogs wiped these bad boys off the planet forever

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

I'm very sexually free, and I mean that literally; I do not charge, you can have sex with me for free

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

A community for people like furries except instead of dressing up like animals, they dress as the clip-art magnifying glass guy 🔥 🥵

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

Life's too short to not be dizzy, don't forget to stop and smell the poppers sometimes

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

The internet sure does know how to pivot...

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

Warning to all my friends who are SUVS or Sedans...there's a new drug out there that will destroy your insides...

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

This man heard the two options and chose "Trick"

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

I don't really like the word "submissive."
I usually prefer say something like "help yourself" or "make yourself at home."

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

It honestly wasn't until now that I fully realized how insignificant the blue checkmarks actually are

[Dan Vetrano @dan_vetrano]

A Libertary is a place residents of the town can go to borrow episodes of Joe R*gan's podcast