ORLY

New Mommy. I touch people for a living.

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

Hi, my name is Dana and I'm snarky.

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

I just entered to win a pair of @edsheeran concert tix before you can buy them from @WCBD! https://t.co/z3t1eTMep5

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

I mean, I feel her struggle. That's why I only ever wear too big blouses or cotton t's from Target.

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

But did Christina Aguilera just stop trying to find clothes that cover her boobs or...

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

Bout to be REAL judgmental

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

Plus to switching your indoor lights to LED: saving on electricity. Negative: noticing just how fucking dirty your house is.

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

I can't make this up.

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

@tybaltknight maybe. ❤️

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

I'll probably finish #makingamurder by 2017. Hopefully it'll still be on Netflix.

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

@tybaltknight sometimes the infant and toddler both let me drink a full cup of coffee. That, my friend, is heaven.

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

@scoccaro boyfriending. That sounds way more glamorous.

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

@scoccaro it's ok. You probably haven't had coffee yet. I've already cooked and eaten breakfast for myself and toddler.

[Bunmi Laditan @HonestToddler]

Saturday Mornings With & Without a Toddler https://t.co/2z6vG5w7m0
//I prefer "with"

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

Uhh @scoccaro. Holy boobies. I don't even think my bfing boobs are that fabulous.

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

You guys. I'm finally watching something trending. #MakingAMurderer between Disney Jr shows that is. 😒

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

#auntjemima she's got jokes

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

I probably shouldn't take my vitamins with wine but... 🍷🍷🍷

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

@christabuchan LAWD HAMMERCY

[ORLY @danamarielmt]

@scoccaro it's absolutely Maverick. ❤️💕👊