Dan

[Dan @danbanannna]

When my husband doesn’t watch the reels I send him

[Gab esnupe da silva junior, vulgo juropinha @cacapyandgab]

fico assim quando meu namorado não me responde

[Kevin Roose @kevinroose]

[opens the portal to the godlike superintelligence that solves 87-year-old math problems and carries out autonomous cyberattacks]

“how long peanut butter good in fridge”

[KALYJAY @gyaigyimii]

The Spanish fans are dragging Messi despite he staying in Spain for 21 years. In Argentina they pick Maradona over him. At PSG everyone pretends he never played for the club.

[Gominsport @Gominsport]

🚨 Marc Cucurella fires back after Lionel Messi allegedly tried to get him booked for speaking with his hand near his mouth.

🎙️ Reporter: "Marc, what happened in that exchange with Messi?"

🗣️ Cucurella: "I was simply telling him his teammates were being too aggressive. I didn't even realize my hand was covering my mouth,I moved it away immediately."

🗣️ Cucurella: "He didn't need to react like that. It felt childish."

[kev joon @never_oppressed]

This outfit alone warrants a life sentence in prison.

[MERICA MEMED @Mericamemed]

Why do all Corvette drivers dress like this?

[Dan @danbanannna]

@MichaelNIXG I’m guessing Philippines

[Dan @danbanannna]

@CollinRugg Oh my god sue for more boys!

[Hugh Laurie @hughlaurie]

fuck

[Dan @danbanannna]

@goodmorningufo Yall can’t tell this very obvious joke?

[jo johnson @josbjohnson]

you must believe you are special and then go so hard, for so long, with such violent refusal to accept any other ending, that reality itself starts running out of ways to tell you no. you must wage a war daily against the ordinary outcome, until the belief you invented out of nothing in a room by yourself has been hammered into the world so many times that it stops being a claim and becomes reality.

[𝕮𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖘 𝕭𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖔 @Chris_Branco]

Estou com medo de tropeçar na rua e a FIFA marcar um pênalti para o Messi.

[Adam Rankin @rankintweets]

Every 3 years a new water bottle brand completely oneshots middle class white women like clockwork

[Dan @danbanannna]

@mitskidata ?

[🟡 The tumboy 🟡 @TheTumboy]

people who say “reecies piecies” should not be allowed to vote

[jerms @shaner_english]

I assure you that all 8 are actually in this picture.

[biannett 🌙 @straightgolden]

truly being into pokemon is so fun and whimsical

[Aya 🦉 @aya__R7]

قاعدة لا يعرفها الكثيرون : الأرجنتين هي المنتخب الوحيد الذي يُسمح له باستخدام اليد في كرة القدم.

[ᴅᴏᴏᴍᴇɴɪᴄ @dinosaur_info]

I'm going to burst into tears

[Ball Zone @TheBallZoneX]

🚨🇨🇭 Switzerland manager Murat Yakin: "Our goalkeeper has already started training for penalties, we know there will be a penalty for Argentina."