Dan Comand

Computer Person

[maro @ProofofMaro]

“Its a sign from the universe” no babe those are just targeted ads

[Shivani Patel @shivanijpatel]

we all laughed at PMs and now it’s the only real job left

[Evy Kwong @EVYSTADIUM]

THATS OUR ELDER MILLENNIAL

[Dan Comand @DanComand]

Me doing my speech that I wrote on the bus that morning.

[Acyn @Acyn]

Trump: Shakespeare, Tolkien, Orwell… incredible people. Unbelievable people like we have rarely seen before, probably won't see again.

[Dave Itzkoff @ditzkoff]

were they also caught at a coldplay concert

[Saurabh Kumar @drummatick]

“still fixing the same bug, no updates from me”

[Dan Comand @DanComand]

RT @TVietor08: Hopping on the phone with a bunch of reporters to how much you totally don’t care about your ex

[John Attridge @John_Attridge]

"Why don't you read the books you already own before buying new books" why don't you eat all the food in the house before going shopping? That's what you sound like. That's how crazy you sound right now

[Nightmare Vision @GodCloseMyEyes]

BREAKING: several hundred new papal ballots were just discovered in maricopa country

[Tim Hannan @TimHannan]

Donald Trump is an 80 year old man that paints his face orange and cheats at golf. There’s no 8 dimensional chess game going on.

[Joseph Allen @j_g_allen]

Now economists know how scientists felt when he said “inject bleach”

[Jonathan Lis @jonlis1]

The difference between Vance and Rubio is that both of them are going to spend eternity in hell but only Rubio realises it

[terminally onλine εngineer @tekbog]

i cant believe ChatGPT lost its job to AI

[Pastor Kyle. @itsqail]

If Taylor swift is real she’ll do a meet and greet inside queen and Spadina McDonald’s

[Grant Certiorari @GrantCertiorari]

It’s crazy that we have a President returning to the White House, and basically no one from his administration is coming back because:

1. They hate him

2. They’re in jail

3. He tried to have them killed

[Christina Warren @film_girl]

Once again: I hate it here.

[Alec MacGillis @AlecMacGillis]

2024 campaign epitaph, regardless of outcome:

"Old men are dangerous: it doesn't matter to them what is going to happen to the world."--George Bernard Shaw

[Michael Ian Black @michaelianblack]

Anybody else feel like there's too many counties? You're telling me Georgia needs 159 of them? Grow up.

[farhad manjoo (former bluecheck) @fmanjoo]

you vote in the same place for either candidate