Dane Wootton

Showbiz Editor of the News of the World, BFF to Lorraine Kelly, King of EXCLUSIVES and celeb bumchum.
Parody.

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

Any former colleagues/journos got an internship going? You must pay my travel and manicure expenses x

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

When one door closes... Look out for my #Exclusive Jeremy Kyle tweets, starting Monday! #IWillSurvive

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

Someone in the street just started screaming 'Gail Platt' at me over and over. #Mortified

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

Will people stop tweeting me about the #NOTW phone hacking scandal. I only hacked Claire from Steps for her weight loss tips, I have morals.

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

Oh. Em. Gee. Massive #Exclusive - Kate Walsh has been fired from OK!TV. Or she's on holiday or something, I don't really give a shit.

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

The truth is, I know about every #Exclusive before they even happen. I get the @heatworld newsletter sent straight to my BlackBerry.

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

Its true, I sent my BFF @MissKatiePrice a text last week with the #Exclusive of Kerry being ditched by CAN #TooHotToPrint #KingDane

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

That awkward moment on a train when you realise the ticket man does not want an autograph, he needs to check tickets.

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

Just got word that Konnie Huq will no longer be doing Xtra Factor! I've done it again... #Exclusive #KingDane

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

Hi @JoeyEssex_, it's true, I accept snuggling as payment for editorial coverage. Hit me up babe x

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

'Ego' by the Saturdays just came on the radio. Why are all the work experience kids pointing at me? #fuming

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

So sales are down & my editor wants a big #Exclusive in next weeks #NOTW. Anyone work for T-Mobile? Sorry in advance Princess Kate x #Hacked

[Alex Reid @AlexReid]

@danewootton oh, sweet heart. X

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

Meeting up with my dream man @Only1AlexReid after the Glamour awards tonight to try on some dresses. What's good enough for Katie... #HOT

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

I'm furious. Lorraine has just emailed me saying I'm fired from her show! She wants "glam" @katiehind! This is Scherzinger all over again!

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

I seem to have inspired a legion of copycats. Remember-I am the original & the greatest, the #1 source for incorrect X Factor info #KingDane

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

Cheryl has just text me back to say she is doing fine, & would like to confirm reports that she has indeed been Skyping Will.I.Am #Exclusive

[Sinitta 16 @sinittaofficial]

@danewootton SOO true! I overheard him on the phone to her as I was mucking out his paddocks....

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

Cheryl Cole just sent me a text asking to pass on to all of you that my #Exclusive was right &, as usual, everyone else was wrong #KingDane

[Dane Wootton @danewootton]

BREAKING #Exclusive - Sheryl Crow has been offered a judging role on US X Factor! From a reliable source (Simon's cleaner @sinittaofficial)