Dan

Muay Thai, Bartender, Freelancer. I have mastered the art of...blind luck.

[Dan @danfj03]

“-Are you the devil?
-No, just a sin”

[Croquettone @Croquettone]

De vez en cuando es necesario recordar esta maravilla de Twitter.

[Matt Margolis @ItsMattsLaw]

“You’ll hear from my lawyer”
-boring
-overplayed
-probably a tax attorney

“Trish is going to be fucking livid”
-intimidating
-who is trish
-what have we done

[Jenni @hashjenni]

y’all ever wake up from a dream & be impressed??! like damn, the narrative structure and plot line was amazing 😭😭

[Brandon Streussnig @BrndnStrssng]

Stop making up new rules for dinosaurs. First it was feathers, now a T-Rex is 3 raptors in a trench coat. Let me live with the heroes I have in my head.

[Sophie Vershbow @svershbow]

No one tells you how much of adulthood is bribing yourself with a little treat in order to stave off psychosis.

[dr.deadbeat daughter @dildoswagginsz]

you should be allowed to fight one professor of your choice at the end of each academic year

[☔ @Whotfismick]

When you make an excuse not to go out and they come up with a solution

[Sokhulu @BonganiNtuli]

“I hope this email finds you before I do”

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

“Hope you’re all feeling refreshed after the break” I binge-drank and ate nothing but sugar for 10 days it’s a miracle I’m alive

[annie-mai @anniemaisocial]

people at work this week

[gustavo @biciclotimia]

Diciembre / Enero

[anu @anuatluru]

there should be a "take your friend to work day" so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories

[Borrachito 🥃 @borrachito]

“Me voy a echar una siesta de 30 minutos”.

Yo cuatro horas después: