angie ☆

my favorite type of men is ramen

[Shelf @shelfcomedy]

me: god, why must you give me your hardest battles

god: i don't. you are my weakest soldier and these battles are so easy. it's an email why are you crying

[hex @thectrldevil]

told my bf I want to lose like 15 pounds to be at my goal weight and his response was “oh you want to lose all our meals and memories together”

[polen @polen_ball]

Oh, so I can use "bro" and "dude" as gender neutral terms and nobody bats an eye; but when I try to use "girl" or "ladies" as gender neutral terms suddenly every single man addressed feels the urge to remind me of their gender as if they think I had somehow forgotten??

[james t @thecaptjames]

his sweater paws..

[maia ☆🇵🇸 @maiadidntwakeup]

Complaining about my stomach hurting after knowingly eating some bullshit

[hater de homens🪑🙍☠️ @oquepequena0]

É muito injusto pra nós, mulheres, porque os homens vêem mulheres lindas todos os dias, enquanto nós vemos um homem bonito uma vez a cada 5 anos :(

[acervo doguinhos @acervodoguinhos]

Feliz aniversário cachorro

[♡⃝ @wine_x13]

I told my mom I wasn't attracted to a guy who liked me and she told me to give him a chance. I said guys don't give girls they're not attracted to a chance so why should I do it? Silence at the dinner table

[linux 🚩 @tuvati]

They just created a million Erling Haalands

[s @skaterz090]

they hate on me for farting but the biggest stars are full of gas

[︎︎ s @saeioura]

i could never be a gambler i just spent money on pastries that weren’t even that good and my chest started to hurt

[scoobs @scoobsluvr]

was eating chips and he brought me his doggie chip toy 😭 now we are eating chips together !!!!

[Daily Naruto @NarutoDaily_]

life imitates art

[manda 🦭 @jirouology]

don’t let a language barrier stop you from finding your favorite song

[FIORE @drakebonergif]

i’ve started farting at work. i don’t even fucking care anymore.

[hera @shiningdaisies]

top reasons to do something:
1. funsies
2. spite

[Nostos @NostosLit]

- Franz Kafka, The Diaries of Franz Kafka