Dangr Ollman

I'm not a hockey player from Minnesota.

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

@gentlemanrhymer I'll check it out, thanks!

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

I'm in the market for a banjolele. Any recommendations? @gentlemanrhymer

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

Totally forgot I had a Twitter. Look out world, more bad puns and robot thoughts are coming your way.

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

Tweets from a carrot: Day 900 - still pretty dark down here... I think Bob was eaten by a rabbit... Have proclaimed myself God to the microbes, but they refuse to worship. Must smite.

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

Bear with me, but I think we Otter von Moose.

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

Another toddler-inspired poem:
"Life is fleeting, like this banana.
Oh, I wish I could lie all day in a cabana,
instead of working - I don't wanna.
What's that smell? Dolce and Gabbana?"

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

"Like pulling teeth from a glacier trapped in molasses."

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

My Captain Planet villain name: Glutyn S. Beezwaks

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

Everything sounds more acceptable with an adjective: "Brewer's yeast," "Medicinal marijuana," "Nutritional opiates."

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

@akeefe98 "A cow a day keeps the doctor away"

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

Failed beef association motto from when they tried to steal one from a candy company: "Taste the cow"

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

@akeefe98 "What would you do for a cow?"

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

There's an awesome new robot on the market: https://t.co/WvcdAw99c3

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

You did it again @FlyFrontier , delivered my bag to the wrong baggage claim conveyor.

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

Baby W.K. #partypartyparty https://t.co/H5ahYyDf1W

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

The @TeslaMotors logo looks like a cat's nose, no?

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

@norumbegan you could probably hang little hammocks off of each rod, so they'd get rocked to sleep as they're warmed.

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

My wife just suggested that a baby heater could double as a rotisserie.

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

@Hertz - Thanks for reaching out and making things right. @FlyFrontier - you're still in the doghouse.

[Dangr Ollman @dangrollman]

I'd like to thank @Hertz and @FlyFrontier for making today's travel a truly atrocious experience.