Danielle Johnson

super hot fire 🔥 i spit that ✨she/her

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

someone tell the buses at LAX that if they honk even more they’ll get where they are going faster!

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

if u thought donald trump was mad at canada about the forest fires just wait until he hears about tim hortons not having chicken wraps at midnight (i’ve been to three in the past half hour)

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

@brooklynyeah yes!! thank you!!

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

i’ll make anything a feminist issue

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

the only thing i’ve learned in my old age is that i have a nearly bottomless capacity for despair

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

“you know 288 and the beltway?” “i just take the beltway to work” WHAT does this mean ive been in houston for nine months and “the beltway” is a mystery i CANNOT solve

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

i won’t let corporate dull my sparkle i won’t let corporate dull my sparkle i won’t let corporate dull my sparkle

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

every time i have a conversation with another person i am clocking whether or not they’ve read the seven habits of highly effective people

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

i wanna know how AI summarizes my texts to other people

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

i am literally the only person in the office today. It might be the perfect time to practice some acrobatics.

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

chatgpt is a woman

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

michaels next big idea: wireless hookah

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

shushing is like nails on a chalkboard to me. i would rather listen to a baby cry than an aggressive “shhhhhhhh”

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

until i can go for a run in the dark of the early morning like man can, no woman should ever pay for a first date.

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

u ever need to do laundry so bad u wear ski socks to the club??

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

antiquing is the most delightful thing until oopsy i spent $300 on a unique and high quality lamp

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

hanging out with a new friend today… excited to overshare

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

i was so on track to run my four miles in this texas heat until i got hit by a car !! 3 miles in !!

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

the houston sky deserves its own national park

[Danielle Johnson @dani_f_johnson]

i recently found out what HEB stands for and it is more diabolical than i could have ever imagined