danielle

read ‘em and weep

[danielle @danicrids]

Currently taking applications for a new pen pal cuz mine just hurt my feelings

[danielle @danicrids]

Hey is this thing still on

[danielle @danicrids]

Drunk, willing, and able

[danielle @danicrids]

I’m not “stealing” my sister’s stuff. I am shopping local.

[danielle @danicrids]

They should invent dating apps that u can only go on when u have had a couple beers. Like i am feelin a lil frisky rn but don’t want the commitment of redownloading a whole dating app just to have fun tipsy banter yah know

[danielle @danicrids]

Sooo I didn’t wake up alone for once 🙈 there was a tick in my bed 🥰

[danielle @danicrids]

idk i just feel like bubble gum nowadays just doesn’t bubble the way that it used to

[danielle @danicrids]

plz tell me why i saw a pontiac G6 and thought it was a porsche

[danielle @danicrids]

hell ya 😤

[danielle @danicrids]

buddy if u have to put “not a douchebag” in ur hinge profile then ur probably a douchebag

[danielle @danicrids]

LOL got the feedback for my final paper and my prof just wrote NO! in big red letters all over my work 🥲 v humbling

[Caron Cridland @mummacarebear]

Thanks to covid my nose has been penetrated more than any other orifice

[danielle @danicrids]

listening to my sex playlist tryna manifest

[danielle @danicrids]

nobody:
that one kid in high school: if the teacher doesn’t show up in 15 mins we are legally allowed to leave

[danielle @danicrids]

u ever take a pic of urself crying then delete it and take another bc the first one wasn’t ~good enough~

[danielle @danicrids]

dating apps hurt my feelings

[danielle @danicrids]

with the amount of obnoxious and unnecessarily loud vehicles that pass by my house 24/7 u would think i lived in the middle of the fucking daytona 500

[danielle @danicrids]

@mummacarebear i’ll get right on it thanks mum!

[danielle @danicrids]

“listen to ur body” well my body is a fucking liar