Daniel Compton

Follower of Christ, husband, father, musician, and fan of adventure

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

Discussing a house with the boy-

Dad: That one is a little older.

Jude: When was it built..like..the 1900’s?

Dad: It’s not that old. Maybe like, 40-50 years ago.

Jude: Yea, the 1900’s!

Dad: …..Stop saying it like that.

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

My 9 year old laptop has 2 personalities:

-Apathetic hipster who scoffs at then warms slowly to new technology.

-Insolent toddler who refuses to do anything you ask and shuts down.

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

😐😑😐😑🤔

https://t.co/Gh3EAHWDkj

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

I am convinced that If my children could harness the speed, skill, and efficacy in which they can turn a clean room into chaos, we could put a sizable dent in that global issues list.

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

Good to see the @bigten sourced these officials locally from East Lansing 🤨 #UMvMSU

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

If being hangry were an Olympic sport, my daughter would already be on that Wheaties box.

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

Heard the boy yelling at his sister in the living room, “You’re gonna burn! You’re gonna burn!” Thought he’d gone all crazy old school tent revival on her, I was about to snatch him up in the grace of the Lord.

Turns out they were just playing the floor is lava. 🔥

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

To clasp the hands in prayer is the beginning of an uprising against the disorder of the world. - Karl Barth

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

Since everyone is passionate about the need for transparency, I will oblige. Peanut Butter M&M’s are far better than Peanut M&M’s. Free yourselves from the legume and chocolate mediocrity. You deserve better.

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

Apparently, the mosquitoes were not notified that it’s October in GA and their services are no longer needed. How 2020 of them.

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

Someone offhandedly suggested that maybe we’re in The Matrix. Man, if we are, our machine overlords are seriously dropping the ball on our reality simulations.

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

A haiku for the brand new shopping cart I used at Walmart today-

Your parts, all in tact
No wobble was in your roll
Stay golden, Pony Boy

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

Apparently, the word shhh actually means “please increase your volume exponentially” in whatever language my 5 year old speaks.

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

How sweet all at once it was for me to be rid of those fruitless joys which I had once feared to lose! You drove them from me, you who are the true, the sovereign joy. You drove them from me and took their place.... O Lord my God, my Light, my Wealth, and my Salvation. -Augustine

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

“God created the world out of nothing. When I realize that I am nothing, perhaps God can create something out of me too!” -Martin Luther

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

Not sure if the boy took advantage of the moment, or truly set up an elaborate vegetable diss-

Jude: (Looking at his human body book) Dad, what do kidneys do?

Dad: They help filter bad things out of your blood.

Jude: ....You mean like roasted broccoli?

Dad: No...no I do not.

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

Experts in economics, sociology, geopolitics, and virology, all with the opening of a social media app. What a time to be alive. Huzzah!

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

Me in my 20’s: Warm ups? Psssh. I’ll just knock this 90 min gym visit out..worry free.

Me in my 40’s: Gotta get that glucosamine off the top shelf...better stretch it out first to be safe.

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

The most inopportune time: Hey, everyone. I’m here!

My daughter: .....Think I’ll poop now.

[Daniel Compton @danielOcompton]

The boy child, humming “Ode to Joy”-

Mom: Hey, buddy. Where’d you hear that song?

Jude: Actually, I just made it up in my head.

Dad: Well, don’t tell that to Beethoven.

Jude: No one’s going to tell him....he’s dead.

Dad: 😐😑😐😑😐