Daniel Hill ❌

opposite of verified. not a trustworthy source of information.

[PaulleyTicks @PaulleyTicks]

So yesterday Donald Trump posted a video of him crashing Stephen Colbert's final show, and literally throwing him in the garbage, and of course, I had to FIX it.

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

I can’t watch a Daryl Hannah movie without thinking about the time @PaulaPoundstone absolutely ROASTED her for no reason. 😂

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

Apparently melatonin + a pint of strawberry ice cream + falling asleep to Abbott Elementary last night = me dreaming I was a teacher AT Abbott. Jacob Hill yelling at me for showing up to work drunk is now my Hat Man.

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

A huge CONGRATULATIONS to @MonicaLewinsky for now being the SECOND most controversial person to ever be accused of blowing Bill Clinton! #BlowinBubbas

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

Just started #Boots. Which one of these is @trixiemattel?

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

Me: I'm thinking of being Aileen Wuornos.
Them: Like, for Halloween?
Me: Sure...

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

Technically, I’m pretty sure the Vatican could enter Eurovision.

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

All cats are French, I will not elaborate further.

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

I heard that Quinta Brunson is working on a Canadian spinoff of Abbott Elementary. It’s going to be called Aboot Elementary. 🥁

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

Someone needs to sue Cardi B every single day! This trial is better than cable, and she’s absolutely crushing it! 🍿

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

I just got into 9-1-1 and I’m a little pissed that the killer bees went away after two episodes. Why didn’t they have them back for the finale?!

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

Still kinda pissed that I look older than Angela Bassett

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

I think it’s time we, as a society, confront the very real possibility that Paddington is a flasher.

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

Say what you want about Elon, the man is entertaining…

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

How to make a totally invisible plane

[Sarah Fields @SarahisCensored]

If the entire government is protecting pedophiles, it has officially become the government against the people.

I hope you all understand that.

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

Laura Loomer’s face looks like a water balloon that’s been pushed to its limits.

[Devin Duke @sirDukeDevin]

Correct. 💥

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

Nah, this just the hanky code. 💛🚿

[Q ™️ @QTHESTORMM]

🚨🚨🚨 MAJOR ALERT: THE WHITE HOUSE IN WASHINGTON DC HAS JUST TURNED ALL YELLOW, SIGNIFYING THE START OF THE GOLDEN AGE

[Daniel Hill ❌ @danielintheyard]

Name one twink that ever contributed positively to society. I’ll wait.