Dani Horne

I really hate writing social media bios...

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

Don’t talk to me. I finally got to see @Yellowcard play it live and I may never recover. Thank you again, @smackinyc

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

Idk what in the southern lady in me makes me light every dang candle in the house at the first sign of a raincloud. But here I am

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

I love writers that will write a straight up gorefest of a book and then the dedication is like “for nana and her blueberry muffins”

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

They need to make tiny car coolers so I can leave my chapstick in there without it turning to lava

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

I just want to be as brave as the people wearing grey in Florida summers

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

The fact that diarrhea is getting a pr facelift as “internal showers” might be the worst thing to come from tik tok

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

My dog’s ancestors must be so pissed when they hearing me tell her what cute “teefies” she’s has.

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

So over the revenge body thing. Your weight wasn’t the issue. The pos that cheated on you was/is/always will be

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

Just because you name your sizes dumb shit like empowered unicorn princess, dual enrolled mermaid, etc your brand is not “size less” that’s stupid and not what we asked for 🙄🙄

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

The fact that southern baptists treat funerals like an mlm pitch for Jesus is just repulsive.

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

Every year I redo my experiment “can one survive on Girl Scout cookies alone?” Just to make sure my findings haven’t changed. You could say I’ve dedicated my body to science

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

You cannot convince me fantasy writers don’t name characters by just letting a cat walk across their keyboard

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

@Acguerry Ok but this is solid logic. 100% justified purchase

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

Why do they even put calories on gelato?! Like who is out here portioning that shit out.

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

Just because your breakup song takes place in December does not make it a Christmas song 🙄🙄

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

Nighttime me thinks way too much of morning me

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

That Kelly Clarkson xmas song is coming for Mariah. And I’m not sure whose team I’m on

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

Are you even a mom if you don’t go “ah..milk bone” anytime a baby coughs?

[Dani Horne @danilymarie]

“They’re having a hard time right now” is parent for “they’re being an asshole. Approach at your own risk”