Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work)

Apologetically online.

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

No more chicken saled 🥲

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

My last two apartments

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

Family summer vacation is all fun and games until mom puts on Christmas Music

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

"Your teeth are like the stars, they only come out at night" - a NH pick up line

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

I’m NOT emotionally prepared to log back onto the darkest corners of the internet tomorrow (Teams, Outlook, and Excel).

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

Local woman announces her arrival at the nail salon by yelling: "Do you have time for a foot?!"

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

Definitely not panicking on the T realizing that this is 23 years old

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

Living my best life ( eating purple Doritos on a beach)

[Adam Rankin @rankintweets]

Every 3 years a new water bottle brand completely oneshots middle class white women like clockwork

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

My favorite metal songs are the ones where the drummer hits the high hat so much you feel like a little galloping horse

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

Felt too close to god (the age of 35 and 3 people away from a mosh pit) tonight

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

My mom really just said Sorry-ana Grande 💀💅

[sam @uglyblender]

having a thing called the "january-february crazies" in which every year in january and february i go crazy

[♡ @shoujochi]

Locked in? No. Im tucked in. Goodnight

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

Nothing longer than an MBTA minute on an outdoor platform in January.

[abrish @cxrnerrstone]

nobody warns you about the number of movies people will simply assume youve seen

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

First expense of 2026: $45 at Taco Bell

[Dandy DeVito (omg I love your work) @danis1212]

Aunt is making egg salad instead of chicken salad for our vegan guests 🙏