Danielle McCallion

good on the inside, terrible on the outside

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

breaking twidder silence to ask why movies think it’s normal to say “come on, we don’t want to be late” to someone as the two of you fully walk through the doors & are therefore at zero risk of being late

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

christmas is stupid.

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

@LanceJMc love you so, you smushy stoop

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

one of my very favorites. rip sondsie
https://t.co/E1NKB35F8s

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

“should we order hot chocolate & donuts?”

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

Dr. Loomis wrote a book about how little he knows about/understands Michael Myers & they just like let him stay his therapist

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

my students today were *shocked* over the fact that i’ve heard of memes. like how old am i?

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

I’m a preschool teacher now.
…
Please clap.

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

@wormatwork it’s honestly about time. i sent them to your place

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

currently seeking new family

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

@TomStoup this is such a tweet

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

breaking twitter silence to demand we stop using the phrase “oh snap.” thank you for your time.

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

@AmericanAir Say more. You’re not telling us anything.

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

@AmericanAir @PHLAirport hi? why the fuck am I stuck on this plane with electrical issues after making us wait eight hours to board?

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

@AmericanAir And work harder pls

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

@AmericanAir Suck my dick.

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

if we’re honest with ourselves, we know esther williams looks like she’s drowning almost as often as doing water ballet.

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

@josetheace @wormatwork @LanceJMc i picked out our cats, you brute

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

@realDonaldTrump oh except

[Danielle McCallion @danitaymc]

I’m not going through a crisis, I’ve just been blaring “Nobody’s Perfect” from Hannah Montana, smoking weed, & playing Doom Eternal the past fifty nights in a row.