jizzlane maxxxwell

Writer • Classically Trained Comedian • Divorced Magician • Cowardly Fraud • Poet Warlord • Sinner • Creature • Avid Reader of Smut • Rib Sauce Judge

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

your password must contain a character... with a tragic backstory

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

@HartWexford 😫😫😫🤣🤣

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

i can't believe they put a man on the moon, but i was born with a micropenis

[Isaac @isaacturnersong]

Ask your doctor about death

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

@benedictsred 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

🎵 mama said there'd be days like this 🎶

(no tp in the Arby's bathroom)

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

growing up near a forest taught me many valuable lessons - like how deer turds look like piles of coffee beans

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

@scru2luse 🤣🤣

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

getting my tramp stamp removed and replaced with a tramp stamp i'm more proud of

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

i wouldn't trust pictures because of AI, but i'll bet someone has gotten a tramp stamp of the lady & the tramp tramp

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

trying alcohol markers

[Mordecai @MenschOhneMusil]

Rebecca Aldernet.

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

got my dog a professional bath and grooming and now he looks 70 years younger!!!

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

if your hotdogs aren't loaded with all the fixins' you can f right on off!

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

just gasped out of my butt

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

@notnormal_olein 😭😭😭😭

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

My ex cheated on me with a ghost hunter.

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

hitchhiking to Arby's for a Big Beef -n- Cheddar!!

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

The Ocean

https://t.co/znzSTbJDaY

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

he died doing what he loved: playing lawn darts at night

[jizzlane maxxxwell @dankcharnley]

stashing extra 4 Loko in my fannypack like a boss