I really enjoyed the online English teacher😺On a gentle summer afternoon, clouds gather and scatter, slowly shifting their forms with ease. Their carefree movements perfectly match the laid-back, unhurried pace of a summer afternoon.
Fill your evenings with peace and rest. Find joy in the ordinary things around you.
Continue moving forward regardless of the circumstances. Success follows from hard and smart work.
This is something i dont think ill ever get over. The problem isnt gone and will never be. hope that feeling doesnt grow , and it just sticks to lingering rather than taking the wheel like from 2019-2021
I think these thoughts will never go away, no matter how happy i become
God i hate my outlook on any adversity
Back in sophomore year, i didnt do a single assignment second semester bc my rationale was
"Whats the point of doing any of this if im planing on not being around in a few months"
And i meant it.
Ive been doing better recently
Found out i dont have it in me to actually do it. At least as of rn. But i still have that rational, i just mean it significantly less.
Oh im gonna fail a class im taking?
Doesnt matter bc.. wait a second i plan on living through the consequences
Im really replaceable/disposable
Anyone can fill my niche.
No one goes into a friendship with me thinking that itll last years and years. Im just the person you talk to bc you have nothing better to do. Then you leave
I dont even feel like me around the two ish people i actually like being around.
Ive always had a one sidded wall stopping me from properly communicating i just want to be normal and not have to worry about that
I dont know what i want. I just complain and do nothing
I am being selfish
If only there was to get help for literally anything thats going on.
Oh wait their is
Am i gonna do any of it
No
Why?
Because its meee
I never do anything productive and would rather waste away
God, venting on the internet again. Very productive love being me. Instead of actually helping myself i just complain to a brick wall and surprised when im not magically better
I think my mom puts it best "you need to stop that, youre making us feel bad :(" when i show the slightest bit of noise sensitivity literally anywhere.
Even at home.
So i have stopped going downstairs, i still hear everything but at least they dont have to deal with me :D
It feels like im gonna explode, i just want to be normal, not socially inept, dumb, and noise sensitive. All of which are my fault. I fucking sheltered myself too much as a kid and now im like this and i have refused to change regardless of how much it harms me
I know its all a mindset thing im doing this to myself. im not a victim of circumstance, im just a dick who cant even talk to people
Theres a very good reason i dont really have close friends
Its because i act like this,instead of improving myself i just waste away and complain
So glad im a disappointment to my friends and family, im currently failingschool. i do not have the capability of improving myself
Its like i do not want to improve , a part of me wants to I KNOW SOMETHINGS WRONG
I just cant and never will
I wish i can just stop and leave