Dan Peroni

Singer in @McVicker_Band & @PremierCrue. Actor with @purleypanto. Father of twin teenagers. Tries everything and half-arses most of it.

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

🎵Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile🎵

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

@wizzair Hi WizzAir. My father lost a bumbag on a flight from Larnaca to Gatwick on Thursday 18 December. It had vital possessions in it including his passport. I need to speak to a real person about this not a machine. Please help.

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

@Billie_T @nessm76 He’s an absolute penis.

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

I won Facebook today.

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

@clownworld Ep’s Files : The truth is still out there.

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

@Midgetgems26 It got better. Started quite shaky but by the end, brilliant!

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

Fans at Bergamo airport give Kyle Walker emotional send off following successful 6 months loan period at AC Milan.

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

Sure. Why have the people elect a government when you can simply buy one. That’s exactly how democracy should work. Absolute wrong-uns, politicians, the lot of them.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Interesting

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

Tried to download the update of the Evri app this morning. Still waiting. My next door neighbour just came round and told me it downloaded to his phone.

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

Just seen there’s a place called North Southwark. Why isn’t it just called Northwark? Or Centralwark?

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

Noel Edmonds Club

[CuriousBritishTelly @CuriousUkTelly]

Replace a word in a film title with Noel Edmonds.

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

BREAKING: Harry Kane announces retirement from international football on June 1st

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

@mostly_grumpy Jack says “Hi”

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

Is #LamineYamal 16 by any chance?

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

@GurneyHarlech Striker: Not *Mc*Murdock?

McCroskey: No. Mc*Mur*dock

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

*AN* HISTORICAL BATTLE

*@benonwine pulls trigger anyway*

[Benonwine @benonwine]

GUN POINTED TO YOUR HEAD NAME A HISTORICAL BATTLE?

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

Getting serious @HackerTDog vibes off my dog rn

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

Me (yelling upstairs): anything up there for the dishwasher?
15 yo Son: *brings down 5 beakers, 2 ramekins and one plate*
Me: what the…?
Son: well I don’t know!
Me: well who else took them up there? The fucking borrowers?

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

@Mike_Heff @CPhilpOfficial We’re screwed in Croydon Heff. Council have no money to do anything thanks to BrickbyPrick Tony Newman’s ineptitude/dodginess. Anything we get now from central Gov will take years to bear fruit.

[Dan Peroni @DanPeroni]

Yippicayay…

[Scott @scottwilks]

#ITVDebate