Dan Roche

Parent. Husband. Writer. Consultant by day. Extremely amateur musician.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

Me in January: I don’t care if everything is just crammed into boxes haphazardly. I want this Christmas stuff gone.

Me in December: WHO DID THIS.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

Pro-Tip: If you want to make sure everyone reads your email, send it and then two hours later apologize for the embarrassing error in your last email.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

Reminder: Answering Black Lives Matter with “All Lives Matter” is like interrupting the Montgomery Bus Boycott to say white men should get to sit in front of the bus too.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

Hundreds of thousands of Texans are about to go into overdraft when their monthly power bills hit the autopay date and they probably won’t even realize it for days.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

The original Muppet Show is not without its teachable moments.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

The best movie example of the modern college professor experience is Yoda. Early in his career he refuses to pass Anakin Skywalker after he dedicates his entire life to being a Jedi, but later on Luke does like three handstands and Yoda’s like “cool you’re done just let me die”.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

Nobody believes in me like my inactive Duolingo account believes in me.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

At some point in the future, Joe Biden will do something you disagree with, or that disappoints you. You may be angry. You may be tempted to say he is “just like Trump”.

He will not be. Do not say this. Resist the urge.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

We’re living through a real world version of Don Quixote where 40% of the La Mancha population has agreed that windmills are actually giants.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

“I can’t wait for this election to be over so I can go back to not caring about politics.”

- Guy I just punched in the face

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

I’ve owned AirPods for two and-a-half years without losing either one and I think this means I’m finally ready to have children.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

Someone should record a cover of “Cats in the Cradle” where the dad showers his son with attention but the kid still wants to borrow the car keys because craving separation from one’s parents is a normal and healthy stage of maturity.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

Re-upping my op-ed from earlier this year.

[Los Angeles Times @latimes]

Op-Ed: What others see as Joe Biden's mental slips, I see as the tricks of a master stutterer https://t.co/JmUsctur2n (via @latimesopinion)

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

@guygavrielkay OH MY GOD GUY

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

Many people's commitment to a kind, just and equitable world comes to a sudden, grinding halt the second they think their own kids are being shortchanged in any way, shape, or form.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

This is a hundred meters from my house and I never noticed before this morning. I must now go to the library and attempt to research who this man is or was.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

On the other hand, Joe Biden speaks weird sometimes.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

The least plausible part of the 1996 movie "Independence Day" is the bit where the entire world is in danger and the Executive Branch of the United States Government demonstrates a basic level of competence.

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

Describing large black men as "gentle giants" is like describing white men as "non-rapists".

[Dan Roche @danrochewrites]

It's disappointing but not surprising that many serious people look at the powerful man spouting insane, dangerous conspiracy theories and conclude "he should tweet less" as if that's the issue and solution, apparently.