Dan Schwalm

🇺🇸father 👨‍👩‍👦‍👦 + husband+ outdoorsman 🦌 🎣 + love watching my kids play sports ⚾️🥎

[OkieMaga_Patriot46 @Okie_Patriot46]

I need to make a very PUBLIC announcement on behalf of younger GenXers and older Millennials.

If you see someone in their 40s or 50s who seems a little boring now, I need you to understand something...

We already got it in.

Like...GOT. IT. IN.

We are not sitting home on a Friday night because we never knew how to have fun.
We are sitting home on a Friday night because we have seen enough.

We went to parties in houses that should have been condemned and were almost certainly owned by the local drug dealer.

We saw police lights and RAN and not across a nice, flat field.
INTO THE WOODS.

Do you understand the athleticism required to hurdle uprooted tree roots in platform shoes while simultaneously trying to keep your low-rise jeans from sliding completely off your ass?

And somehow...we never spilled the Zima. We never spilled the Boone’s Farm.

That was TALENT.

We slept on floors in strange houses because the designated driver either never showed up or, in a shocking turn of events, was drunker than everybody else.

There was no Uber, Life360 or Find My Friends.
There was just somebody named Mike saying, “I know a shortcut.”

And we FOLLOWED MIKE.

We closed down bars and then decided the night was still young, so we drove to Atlantic City, where we somehow managed to get drunk, sober up, get drunk again, sober up again and then get drunk a THIRD TIME before breakfast.

And according to our parents? We were at Michelle’s house.

Eating pizza and watching movies.

Michelle’s mother unknowingly covered for approximately 17 people every weekend. If there even was a Michelle.

We drank things called Purple Passion, Mad Dog 20/20 and whatever somebody mixed inside a giant plastic garbage can. Nobody asked what was in it. You grabbed a red Solo cup and trusted the process.

We went to clubs until the lights came on. Do you know the psychological damage of seeing a nightclub with the LIGHTS ON? Nothing good happens after those lights come on.

We danced for four straight hours in shoes that permanently altered the structure of our feet.

We made entire plans without cell phones...no texts, dropped pins or group chats...just an extremely questionable sense of direction.

We rode in cars with 11 people when the vehicle legally seated five. Someone was always sitting on someone. Someone was always in the hatchback.
And there was always one friend yelling, “DUCK!” when we passed a cop.

So yes...now we like being home.
We like sweatpants.
We like cancelling plans.
We like saying, “That sounds fun!” with absolutely no intention of attending.
We like restaurants at 5:30 because we can get a good table.
We like being home by 8:17.

And if someone texts at 9:30 PM and says, “What are you doing?”
Sleeping...we are sleeping.

Because this is not boring my friends...this is retirement.

We already played, partied and danced on the bar.
We already ran from the cops through a wooded area dressed like a Spice Girl.

We have stories that cannot be posted because there are still people with careers, marriages and reputations to protect. And thank GOD there were no camera phones.

So kids, when you look at your Gen X and older Millennial parents sitting peacefully on the couch watching Dateline at 8 PM and think:
“God, you guys are boring.”

Sweetheart...oh sweetheart.
You are looking at retired legends.

Put some respect on our names. We're probably the reason Life360 was invented.

xoxoxo (posted from someone else on FakeBook) 🤣 #genx #oldandtired

[Red Pill Dispenser @redpilldispensr]

"You get taxed on what you earn, you get taxed on what you buy, and you get taxed on what you own."

"Taxes, taxes, taxes."

"And then what does it get spent on? A bunch of stuff you don't even agree with."

"That's why we need to reduce the size of government."

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

I now understand why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

Dogs can learn everything

[Catturd ™ @catturd2]

👇👇👇

[LSU Baseball @LSUbaseball]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? WHAT. A. PLAY.

📺 D1 Baseball

[Wall Street Apes @WallStreetApes]

@elonmusk @DOGE Can someone please explain the me how these criminals are not headed to prison? ANYBODY?? Laundering our money to everyone including terrorist organizations that we all have to pay insane taxes and inflation for…. They’re not gods, they’re just corrupt employees, WHEN PRISON??

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

The @DOGE team discovered, among other things, that payment approval officers at Treasury were instructed always to approve payments, even to known fraudulent or terrorist groups.

They literally never denied a payment in their entire career.

Not even once.

[Nick Freitas @NickJFreitas]

My annual message on gas cans and why the government sucks.

[Chief Nerd @TheChiefNerd]

When I tell my wife I loaded the dishwasher 😂

[Matt Eichacker 🇺🇸 🌽🥩 @matteichacker73]

Did president Trump sign an executive order to ban DEF on diesel motors yet?

[Jason American Patriot™ @TruthJasonLee]

▪️Dana White says how he feels about Joe Biden.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

2025 is gonna be so lit 🤣🤣

[Dan Schwalm @Danschwalm78]

@orioninil Congrats

[Social Distancing in my MAGA Blind 🎯🌳🦌🦃🐿🌲 @mgoblue85]

This is Hunting.

It will break your heart and you will go days without getting so much as a shot at an animal.
You will miss your shot.
You will see garbage in the bush, and have to pick it up.
You will wound something one day, and it will make you cry.

It will teach you life lessons.
You will learn that one more minute can make all the difference.
You will learn that life doesn't care...the weather warms up anyways, the wind changes direction, and all you can do is work with it.
You will learn patience and determination.

It will inspire you.
You will see a mother and her baby, and your heart will swell.
You will be humbled by that doe blowing at you, less than 10 yards away.
You will see the beauty of dawn.
You will learn the feeling of being prey.
You will see things so beautiful, others seem dull in comparison.
You will speak to another species.

This is hunting.
It will make you vulnerable.
You might cry over the animals you shoot.
You might make mistakes and fret over the what ifs.
You will face your own worst enemy in the bush: yourself.
You will have to walk through the dark, basically blind deaf and dumb.
You will learn the bittersweet feeling of letting an animal live, or choosing to kill one.
You will learn the important balance of life and death.

You will become ..... you.

You will learn passion, grit, strength, emotion, Independence, determination, empathy, silence and peace.

It is where you will learn your most valuable lessons.

It is where you will make your best memories.

It is where you will cry, laugh, and love.

It is where you learn to be still and be quiet.

It is what you will devote your life to, and never regret it.

This is what we call Hunting.

[Dan Schwalm @Danschwalm78]

@Buckslayerwells @thwaacker 😂