Dan🦄

29, small and angry

[Eoin Ó Catháin @EoinKeane101]

putting this as an automatic response to any work email i get this week

[Ryanair @Ryanair]

literally anything

[ICHIBAN BABY @DemiCaruso]

Bowl plates are the superior dishware

[Dan🦄 @danthedickhead]

Seems legit @lksvx there’s dad’s Xmas pressie sorted

[joe heenan @joeheenan]

2 Oasis tickets for sale.
£500 each
#oasis

[em @emxlyyyy_xo]

has anyone actually managed to get oasis tickets this morning, or are we all just sat in this stupid queue for the laugh

[Josh Jeffery @JeffCarnage]

Ended up getting 4 tickets to see Bad Gateway 503 at Murrayfield. Anyone know if they're any good? #Ticketmaster

[Dan Townley @Dan_Townley]

I'm pretty sure I've been scammed.

#Oasis25

[Tara Gráinne Ní Chonghaile @TaraGrace_]

Me when he says he’d still love me if I was a worm

[Out of Context Human Race @NoContextHumans]

“As per my last email”

[☔ @Whotfismick]

Me: watches a show called Unsolved Mysteries

narrator: the case was never solved

me :

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

ㅤ

[Jim Waterson @jimwaterson]

A red button option to just have a livefeed of Pickford’s face in the corner of your screen at all times.

[Laura Lexx - Touring NOW! @lauralexx]

The ref has given Saka a yellow card. It’s a picture of a sunflower and it says “keep shining” because he is so precious

[Mollie Goodfellow @hansmollman]

Phil Foden always looks like he’s just asked his mum if he can go out to play but she’s said no because his dinner will be ready in ten minutes

[Manxpie @manxpie86]

Haha no way Pickford!

[Dan🦄 @danthedickhead]

@FKATheMug If you were a plane @lksvx

[mahrukh @parhloumahrukh]

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

[Emily✨ @_emilyoram]

Standing in front of the mirror about to put mascara on

[Dan🦄 @danthedickhead]

@kieRabrahams @mazzypopstar I just threw up