Daniel Vaculin

grilled halloumi is my Disneyland

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

Delivered Fresh Today

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

Hey @woolworths someone driving one of your food delivery trucks illegally dumped a heap of rubbish on my front garden last night. Was too dark to see the reg but are your vehicles tracked?

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@fasc1nate

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@maxrushden @guardian_sport @bglendenning @barneyronay @PhilippeAuclair I read this week about the passing of Salif Keita, a player who despite his achievements, I had never heard of. Could @PhilippeAuclair tell us a bit more about his career and why I might have been so ignorant about such a talented and influential footballer?

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@FootyScran Stick it in midfield instead of McTominay

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@guardian Mega lolz

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@GlennyRodge https://t.co/TveES8KCEI

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

Coworker: wanna see a video of my kids first steps?
Me: on the moon?
Coworker: ha no-
Me [slaps phone out of her hand]: well fuck off then

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@IQfromkids If you had no mouth, how would people know when you’re happy? Layla (5)

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@guardian Imagine what Sean Dyche sounds like with a sore throat

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@guardian To be fair, the phase “power-drunk authoritarian kill-joys” perfectly sums up the Western Australia government

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@maxrushden Kieron Dyer when I worked at hmv Stansted, he left the R&B section in a right state

[Paul Arthurs. @BoneheadsPage]

Give away time. To win this copy of Def Maybe, signed by me, retweet and follow @MicrodotCreativ

[Tim Burgess @Tim_Burgess]

Retweet for a chance to win!

Upgrade your @LlSTENlNG_PARTY experience with an amazing pair of Sonos One stereo speakers (in your choice of black or white finish)

🤘Winner picked at random on Friday June 26th at 10pm 🤘

https://t.co/cyDQRfBEOi
#TimsTwitterListeningParty

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@Baddiel Coronavirus I assume

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@david8hughes My life is like a UB40 song, it’s shit

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@ScottMorrisonMP Strip clubs and brothels open at step 4 right? Asking for a friend

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@ringostarrmusic you got time to reply to all that fan mail now Ringo? Peace & Love ✌️❤️

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

Hasn’t Boris Johnson been taking part in ‘the national clap’ for decades now?

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@maxrushden Of course I’ll always look back fondly on my time at Valencia, but UD Ibiza have a great young team, amazing fans, a fantastic stadium, and access to some of the finest recreational drugs in Europe. #HalaIbiza

[Daniel Vaculin @danvac20]

@mrnickharvey @trouteyes - hands down