Daniel Lin

A heartbreaking waste of human capital

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

That’s a very nice stock market you have there. It’d be a shame if something happened to it.

[Bloomberg @business]

Trump says the stock market will crash if he's impeached https://t.co/ONKB4np2uJ

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

Timeline of Space Force

-Space Force

-Crushingly bad prequels to Space Force

-Long-awaited sequel to Space Force that is pretty much a copy of the original

-Another sequel to Space Force. Infuriates grown men who live in parents’ basements. Twitter becomes unusable for years.

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

Tesla Stock Jumps On Report That Elon Musk Has Secured Private Funding But You Don’t Know Them Because They Go To Another School

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

“Hope Hicks doesn’t feel safe? That poor woman.”

- Child recently freed from cage, searching for parents

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

EARLIER: The Bible tells us to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained the government for his purposes

NOW: When the law stops us, ignore the law https://t.co/KNZUMaj9zc

[The Washington Post @washingtonpost]

Trump claims immigration laws are 'a mockery,' seeks to deprive migrants of due process by deporting them without trial https://t.co/cLvcyvnljV

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

EXPECTATION: Bring North Korea’s nuclear program to its knees

REALITY: Bring the White House gift shop website to its knees

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

Other commemorative coins from Trump that are now on sale

-The “Repeal Obamacare” coin

-The “Won The Popular Vote” coin

-The “Has Tapes of Comey” coin

-The “Has An Extremely Credible Source That Obama’s Birth Certificate Is A Fraud” coin https://t.co/394vUw4VQ6

[Christina Wilkie @christinawilkie]

Trump's #NorthKoreaSummit commemorative coin is now a "Deal of the Day" at the White House Gift Shop. h/t @typingelbow

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

1980 GOP: Anyone, from any corner of the world, can come to the United States and become an American

2016 GOP: An American with Mexican parents can’t be a fair judge

2018 GOP: An American with Chinese parents must be committing treason https://t.co/iwbogsrq7D

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

TRUMP: I’m having a terrible month

COHEN: Hold my beer

PRUITT: Hold my beer

MULVANEY: Hold my beer

TRUMP: At least my nominee to run the VA is avoiding controversy, right?

JACKSON: (*chugging Cohen’s, Pruitt’s, and Mulvaney’s beers*)

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

420 retweets 👍

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

[Ten minutes later]

BREAKING: Trump nominates romaine lettuce to be Secretary of Agriculture https://t.co/19o4XGkix1

[The Washington Post @washingtonpost]

Do not eat any kind of romaine lettuce, CDC warns https://t.co/XoKCzZLmu3

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

Guy celebrating 4/20 vs. Trump

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

If only we could’ve known that a guy who said he got more electoral votes than Obama, his inauguration had the largest turnout in history, Obama’s unemployment rate was 42%, and the 58-floor Trump Tower had 68 floors would lie to make himself look better https://t.co/zvyM5wTdqX

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

GOP: We know enough about babies to regulate the female reproductive system

ALSO GOP: Diaper bags aren’t real. You made that up. https://t.co/ykO7pvYDYm

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

KUDLOW: Never believe the CBO. Instead, you should believe me, the guy who predicted slow growth before the longest expansion in history, denied the housing bubble in 2005, and recommended buying stocks on the eve of the Great Recession. https://t.co/d5lJNjPB5w

[The Washington Post @washingtonpost]

Analysis: Trump’s top economic adviser: "Never believe the CBO … never believe them" https://t.co/Aqvj6S7pXU

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

Today, we honor the accomplishments of Paul Ryan in his mission to shrink the deficit, reduce government spending, and provide rigorous oversight of the executive branch

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

TRUMP: IS IT TRUE YOU CAN’T BE ARRESTED IF YOU COMMITTED A CRIME ON A WEDNESDAY

SPEAKER: Sir, this is a McDonalds drive thru

TRUMP: I WANT THE HAMBURGLAR TO BE THE ATTORNEY GENERAL https://t.co/Dz5KXjKtUF

[Mike Scarcella @MikeScarcella]

'The president has been asking for legal advice ... from virtually any attorney who calls him up.' https://t.co/22rnHWP1yU

[Daniel Lin @danwlin]

GOD: What is this?

PERSON: The Ten Commandments

GOD: What does it say?

PERSON: Do not lie, steal, covet, or commit adultery

GOD: And what is Trump?

PERSON: Scandal free and clean

GOD (removes glasses, rubs bridge of nose): Okay, let’s try this again. But more slowly https://t.co/AGImpyWTgn