danzig lore

Little known facts AND a free haircut!

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Say "covfefe" in a mirror three times and a sexually excited Danzig wearing your dead mother's pajamas will appear.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig voted for Trump/Pence because they are more evil than his original choice of Cthulu/actual fire.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

A fleshlight modeled after Danzig's butthole comes with some free lube and some free ancient curses.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig lost his mouth virginity to a decaying baby goat corpse.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig's changes the bone fragments filter in his hot tub like all the fucking time.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

The volunteer fire department of Lexington KY can no longer keep up with Danzig's baby arsons.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Anyone Danzig has fucked turned into The Grimace.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig has only once played the fart xylophone, killing the entire studio audience of Jimmy Kimmel Live.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig did not watch the birth of his first centaur daughter (Louise the Centaughter) because he doesn't skip chest day for anything.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig's Grindr username is "n0twhatiexpectedbutokwh4tever".

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig's lice have daddy issues.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig went on three dates with one of GG Allin's blood turds.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig wanted his meteorite dagger back from Tutankhamen for ages but his then ex-wife pterodactyl insisted it was gauche to ask for it back

[danzig lore @danziglore]

To Danzig, "double penetration" means to have both Mac Tonight's chin and head horn inside you at the same time.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Only Danzig knows the only way to stop a horny goblin: suck it's only dick

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig believes INXS' Devil Inside" is about his latest Foursquare check in at Applebee's.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig charges only 90,000 hell fun bucks for a dry horn job.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig always says if you don't have anything nice to say to The Annihilator of Horse Dreams, don't say nothing at all.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

Danzig acquired his Cauldron of Infinite Madness at Pier 1.

[danzig lore @danziglore]

If Danzig had an identical twin sister it would be Lou Diamond Philips.