Darlene

Comedian. Retweets are my own.

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

I don’t like my landlord and then she raised my rent today by $69 and I’m like wait, she funny

[AceVane @AcEvAne]

Diddy really formed a girl group and decided he was the lead bitch 💀

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

Excited to leave my work screen so I can turn on and watch my big screen while I scroll on my little screen

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

I don’t know how we expect men to stop taking credit for our work when we literally grow a human being for a year and are then like “let’s put your name on it”

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

Call me a boomer but how does one get to “threads”

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

Spending $100 a day keeps the depression away

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

Does Prince Harry have a last name? Or is it Harry?

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

I’m so hot from being gaslit this year

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

Job interviews are so sensitive they’re like “why do you want this job” and it’s rude to be like “money”

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

People always be like “how are you?” It’s like dude don’t put that on me

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

Do men know what skinny jeans are ?

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

Good, fine and denial, you?

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

There comes a time in one’s life to decide if they should work forever or sell pictures of their feet on the internet to Kevins

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

@brianlichi @CornPuzzle @countthedings @pikachuliu @DammondJohnson @Boehl7 That was honestly just luck

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

@Boehl7 @CornPuzzle @countthedings @pikachuliu @DammondJohnson @brianlichi This is everything I could have asked for.

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

Dems be like “would love to stop mass shootings. If not, no worries”

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

Call me stupid but what exactly is a law?

[Charlie James @malecowgirl]

If I didn’t have access to abortion as a teenager there’d be a third grader named Hermione.

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

@bessbell Probs when he sheds his skin

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

let’s model work after school where we usually get out at 3 and on Thursdays we get out at 1 and every day there’s a chance your boss could get shot

[Darlene @dar_finkle]

Ladies, I challenge us to make a plan in under 10 texts