@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social

Bristol

Banner by @mehrunnez

kirby main (unironic)

Italians DNI

All my tweets are cries for help

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

Officially 1 year since we got my cat!!! Since ik she's the only reason a lot of you follow me, here's *literally* every Coco related tweet i've made since getting her

⚡️ “Coco”

https://t.co/qfZ9IkN7yO

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

Megan Thee Stallion raps like Big Sean after accidentally drinking a potion that turned him into the hottest woman alive

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

Okay maybe Canada isn't that bad https://t.co/Cyt4ZaSfZH

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

Okay maybe Canada isn't that bad https://t.co/Cyt4ZaSNPf

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

@riceontheground Sorry for your loss 💔

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

@tylerthecreator juice this twin

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

More like Bilyer The Cregaytor

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

Holy shit what a fumble lmao

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

Things that would never survive the culture war if they were created/propsed in 2024:

Drunk driving laws
The NHS
Microwaves
Diet coke
Indoor smoking bans
Drake
Whales and dolphins being mammals not fish
Taxes
Pretty much any road safety thing tbh, seat belts, traffic lights etc

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

Nothing gets under my skin more than seeing a really funny premise for a sketch wasted by obnoxious white guys in their early 20s

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

This is how old people tweeted before phones

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

Being Jewish back in the bible times must've been crazy.

One minute you're on a boat having a little lapse in faith, and before you know it God's put you on time-out in a fish's stomach for 3 days???

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

They're writing think pieces about Horrid Henry I've seen enough

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

The simpsons and nuclear power would've been the better example

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

"Asteroid city had no plot"

It literally has 2 plots? The play and the making of the play??? Fair enough if you didn't like either or they were boring but at least they were there

[Jared Gilman @realJaredGilman]

ok what’s ur irl buddy’s film opinion that’s got u like this

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

Like one too many tweets about movies and your for you page turns into the Dipshit Olympics I swear

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

Ok hitler

[Grizzmiss 🇸🇪 @GrizzMiss]

I’ve found it! The most overrated, dry food in the world. It’s the Bagel.

[jody @meshisland]

and just like that, we got video proof of why straight women are having less sex, casual or otherwise

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

Southern Fremen seeing the Lisan al-Gaib after centuries of waiting

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

Dune is a cautionary tale against hyping up white boys that have a little bit of swag, or they'll usher in a new era of suffering across the galaxy

See: Jack Harlow, Justin Timberlake, Bradley Cooper after A Star is Born, etc.

[@darkfruitspapi.bsky.social @darkfruitspapi]

This is the type of thing you'd tweet if you're Tom Hollands biggest hater and want to turn the whole of twitter against him

[Sam @samk0006]

So far, who's shown more range, has had a better career and will be a bigger a box office draw?

Chalamet or Holland