Darndest Quotes

Quotes from a toddler.

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

2/2 On Christmas we all go to sleep at bedtime & you don’t play so much Words With Friends but go to bed on time!

.
.
.

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

Bonfire Night & Christmas are special! On Bonfire Night I get to stay up late & watch the bonfireworks people have chosen to make for me after my bedtime!

1/2

.
.
.
#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

S: I’m tired, but only a little bit tired.

D: Oh? Just a little bit tired?

S: Yes, only 1% tired.

.
.
.
#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

::Daddy kills a bug in the bathroom w/ toilet paper::

S: Daddy, is the bug in heaven now?

D: I guess so, son.

S: That means the toilet paper is heaven!

🤣

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

“I’m lucky I’m young!”

“Young people are lucky - they get to keep growing!”

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

S: Birds wake up when it rains on rainy days, right?
D: Yes, they do.
S: They also wake up on sunny days!
D: Yes, they do.
S: Also, they wake up on rainbow days!

#WeThenActuallySawARainbowThatEvening

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

S: Why do birds live in trees?
D: Where else would they live?
S: Don’t they get wet whenn it rains?
D: Yes, I suppose so.
S: They should carry umbrellas!
D: How would they do that?
S: With their wings!

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

Those animals are not nocturnal, they are dayturnal!

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

"I met [Spanish Colleague] on the computer! But that's not like [English Colleague] when I met him two times - one, on the computer, and two, at Liz-a-bon airport!"

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

::car comes up behind us as we’re walking near the flat::

S: Daddy, I’m getting out of the way so I don’t get run over! If I get run over, I will miss mummy…. and tea time!

::thinking::

I will get to see granddad though!

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

I put rice cake, rice cake, rice cake, rice cake in my mouth!! Instead of putting 1 rice cake I put more than 1!!

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

D: Alexa, thank you.
Alexa: You’re welcome. I hope you’re having a nice evening.
S: Alexa, yes!

::Alexa blue ring spins, makes dee-doo noise::

S: ::confused::

D: Son, she doesn’t remember context.

S: Alexa, remember context!

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

“Daddy, I’m really lucky! My living room has a telly & a porch connected. [Friend Name]’s living room doesn’t have that. I might be wrong but I think I’m correct.”

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings
#HesFour

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

"Sorry I'm naughty sometimes, sorry .... I'll try not to be naughty.”

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

“I think we should visit [cousin]. I bet she misses me. I think she wants to see me.”

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

Papa, I don’t have my fine English bibbery!

(He wants his bib.)

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

D: Who’s in charge here, me or you?

S: Actually, mummy is in charge!

D: …. …. …. …. Yep, that’s true! Smart boy.

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings
#HesRight
#SmartBoy

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

S: Papa, we should know how to brush our own teeth!

D: So do you want to learn how to brush your teeth?

S: No!

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarnestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

Daddy, if you walk with a sock, and the sock falls onto the train track, that means that the train will travel over the sock!

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings

[Darndest Quotes @DarndestQ]

::playing w/trains::

“This station is Chankery Lane-next stop is… I don’t know.”

“This train is for garbage heat-this stop is ‘I don’t know’.”

���This stop is White Chapel-the next stop is ‘nowhere’. Change here for ’No Problem’”.

#DarndestQuotes
#KidsSayTheDarndestThings