Darrell

opinions and ideas from the ultimate authority on how the world is and/or should be

[Darrell @darrellizations]

I now own more plastic straws than Sobey’s

[Darrell @darrellizations]

I see we’re back to paper bags at the grocery store. What happened to them being the cause of deforestation, making us go to plastic in the first place

[Darrell @darrellizations]

Why are they making me drink with a paper straw but nobody cares about plastic lids?

[Darrell @darrellizations]

Why would you want to hire someone who interviews well? They could just get another job easier later

[Darrell @darrellizations]

I’ve never been so offended in my entire life than when I was offered gum

[Darrell @darrellizations]

I believe all gum should be jettisoned from the planet earth

[Darrell @darrellizations]

Taxis are for hillbillies

[Darrell @darrellizations]

Star Wars Episode 9 needs to be delayed two years so they can re-do Episode 8

[Darrell @darrellizations]

If it's possible to die from losing the will to live, I would've died at the 50 minute mark of #TheLastJedi

[Darrell @darrellizations]

Anyone who considers cucumber a fruit is an idiot

[Darrell @darrellizations]

I give you the gift of life every day by not taking it from you

[Darrell @darrellizations]

Gum should be stricken from the earth

[Darrell @darrellizations]

The hallmark of a good hair cut is that you look faster than you did before

[Darrell @darrellizations]

I literally hate the word literally... Literally

[Darrell @darrellizations]

It's not pleasantly plum, it's purple

[Darrell @darrellizations]

I'm happiest when I'm belittling other people's choices

[Darrell @darrellizations]

Also, if you think your ringtone is cool, it's probably stupid

[Darrell @darrellizations]

When someone 25 feet away can hear your ringtone, it's too damn loud

[Darrell @darrellizations]

Why be a parent when you can be a dick?

[Darrell @darrellizations]

Contacts are for losers