B A

cashapp $Barriola10

[B A @datbrownguy_]

Everyone! Im getting married today!!!

[B A @datbrownguy_]

Flying is basically Amazon Prime for humans, except it's never free, you're always late, and your package arrives emotionally damaged

[B A @datbrownguy_]

People who vape are the vegans of smoking: technically different, spiritually just as annoying about it.
#smoking #vape #Spirituality

[B A @datbrownguy_]

Bumper cars are a wild first driving lesson. “Remember kids: No turn signals, no brakes, and if someone’s in your way, floor it.”

[B A @datbrownguy_]

Bumper cars are a wild first driving lesson. “Remember kids: No turn signals, no brakes, and if someone’s in your way, floor it.”

[B A @datbrownguy_]

Serious question: if someone is crying while telling me a heartbreaking story, how long do I have to wait before taking another bite of my corn dog without looking like a psychopath?

[B A @datbrownguy_]

I hate it when homeless people shake their cup of coins at me. like alright man, I get it
...you’re doing better than me financially. No need to flex.

[B A @datbrownguy_]

If you were already thinking about buying Girl Scout cookies, just remember they support trans kids and have turned down anti-trans money. So really, buying two extra boxes is basically community service.

[B A @datbrownguy_]

I wish that, instead of burning them slowly, I could use up all my fat cells at once on one insane feat of athleticism.

[B A @datbrownguy_]

Dogs in 10000BC: "Look at
these weird monkeys,let's
eat them"

Human: *throws stick really far*

Dogs:

[B A @datbrownguy_]

Just imagine how pissed all the other orphans were when stuart little got adopted before them.

[B A @datbrownguy_]

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

[B A @datbrownguy_]

The guy who first found out that babies instinctively hold their breath underwater must have had some serious questions to answer to.

[B A @datbrownguy_]

@JJKcontents

[B A @datbrownguy_]

https://t.co/kNepUYoIwy

[B A @datbrownguy_]

We met at work.
Didn’t start dating until she quit.
HR can relax.

3 years later we’re married and heading to Disney World for our honeymoon!!

Want to sponsor a churro, Lightning Lane, or Mickey pretzel?
We’ll toast you in front of the castle.

Link below ✨

[B A @datbrownguy_]

https://t.co/kNepUYoaH0

[B A @datbrownguy_]

2004 middle school me learning about Rome: But how could such a developed and rich society collapse so suddenly?

2025 me: Oh...

[B A @datbrownguy_]

(Wearing my jedi robe)
Guy: Who are you supposed to be?
Me: Maybe this will help. *does the hand movement for the force*
Guy: Magneto?
#xmen #StarWars #Halloween

[B A @datbrownguy_]

I don't know how to use the word "hypothetical" in a sentence, but imagine if I could..