ellen degenerate

i was born a baby

[ellen degenerate @datraffytaffy]

i love being professional in my emails. it feels like the greatest acting role I've ever taken on and I'm honestly so good at it. they have no idea how much I usually say fuck

[T-Pain @TPAIN]

Who did this

[internet hall of fame @InternetH0F]

ouch

[Маделейн . @normalmadeline]

Literally why did he do this

[ryxn @itzryxxn]

thank you so much for making barbie

[Obi Satoru @KingObi]

Shoutout to my school board member.

[birdsrightsactivist @ProBirdRights]

eat my cloaca

[kenzi @kenzianidiot]

my dad goes to a bar with his friends every friday and he makes a list of discussion topics pt 24

[Andy Herren @AndyHerren]

Ariana Grande is dating Big Brother 10 houseguest Jerry MacDonald, TMZ reports.

[ellen degenerate @datraffytaffy]

Five years into my career and I’m officially working with the dumbest person I’ve ever met in my life

[2000s @PopCulture2000s]

before barbie this was our doll movie

[ellen degenerate @datraffytaffy]

@miss_pidgey drop the documentary now

[Skye :D @quirkedupskye]

Can’t tell if my wife loves me or if she’s just being nice

[GL @gldivittorio]

Quick list of things with lower average interest rates than medical loans:
-student loans
-business loans
-home loans
-cat food loans

[GL @gldivittorio]

My last 2 insurance bills were a fraction of the rest. The difference wasn’t itemized bills or long calls—it was hiring a lawyer. Without any court dates, they halved copays in weeks that I had fought for months. Because I could afford a 1k legal fee, I saved 8k+ on treatment

[gaut @0xgaut]

frontend eng vs. backend eng

[New Wojack City @deusexmoniker]

The idea that you can "hide" a 14 year old girl in a barracks for more than a day is absurd. They all knew she was there.