Dave Allen

[Matt Duchene @Matt9Duchene]

If you want this to be a real out door pond hockey game, make the OT last til someone scores or it's dinner time #nextgoalwins

[Dave Allen @dav_120]

I feel like a lightning bolt just struck the tip of my penis! #stepbrothers #best

[Dave Allen @dav_120]

JUST WALK ACROSS THE WIRE ALREADY! #bullshit #SkyWire

[Chuck Norris Wiki @ChuckNorrisWiki]

Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires.

[Dan O'Toole @dangotoole]

I would tweet pictures from London, but two problems: 1) I don't know what the hell anything is 2) I wouldn't want to look at them either.

[Dave Allen @dav_120]

It was on fire when I got here! Lmao

[Dave Allen @dav_120]

13 pounds of black gold! Ahhaah #Bruno!

[Dave Allen @dav_120]

Cats pajamas lol sii #duckdynasty

[Chuck Norris Wiki @ChuckNorrisWiki]

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

[Dave Allen @dav_120]

I'm on tv, nbd