David the Bravid

Comedy/TV writer. From the future, but I signed an NDA :/ Filed complaints will be read thoroughly by my shredder.

[David the Bravid @davagic]

Buckingham Palace: London's hottest strip club? You heard that right!

'Princess Bambi' works as Royal Pole Dancer for yours truly, Her Majesty The Queen. And she has lots of insights to share – and tea to spill...

CHECK IT OUT

https://t.co/ZdEuJo0oU0

[David the Bravid @davagic]

Sneezing in public
- socially accepted
- makes other people sick and might even kill some

Farting in public
- taboo
- smells bad for a sec and has no other consequences

[David the Bravid @davagic]

Eat up your scrambled eggs, kids in America don‘t have that luxury!!

[David the Bravid @davagic]

Let‘s make it more interesting. You can sell your US citizenship to somebody else for $5,000,000

[David the Bravid @davagic]

I‘m so mad at Taylor Swift for ending her tour on show 149? Like?? What about people with OCD???

[David the Bravid @davagic]

Apple TV+ "WeCrashed", Season 2 (ft. Boeing)

[David the Bravid @davagic]

I dunno, those artist messages seemed a little unhinged to me #SpotifyWrapped #TaylorSwift

[David the Bravid @davagic]

"we revolutionize the iPhone once again and will let it charge with USB C, a brand new technology that will become the universal charging port around the globe!!!"

#AppleEvent

[David the Bravid @davagic]

nothing prepares you for the loss of the attenzione pickpocket lady and Lizzo at the same time 😔

[David the Bravid @davagic]

The Supreme Court just declared Taylor Swift‘s Ears Tour Tickets "too cheap", insiders say.

[David the Bravid @davagic]

All these side hustles seem stressful. Why not get one single hustle?

[David the Bravid @davagic]

You shall not #PasseFranceAllemagne

[David the Bravid @davagic]

Plus difficile que d'obtenir des billets pour Taylor Swift #PasseFranceAllemagne

[David the Bravid @davagic]

Boss: Why are you this jacked?

Jeff: You said if I want to keep my job I need personal training.

Boss: I said personnel training, Jeff…

[David the Bravid @davagic]

Some girl named Attention being rich af because so many people were asked to pay her

[David the Bravid @davagic]

?? #SnapchatAI #myai #snapchat #chatgpt

[David the Bravid @davagic]

Why are episodes of Ted Lasso full length movies now

[David the Bravid @davagic]

"strangers" makes it sound as if people we don‘t know were bizarre weirdos

[David the Bravid @davagic]

I don‘t know much about Bulgaria but the split squads they invented really make me worried about what else they‘re capable of…

[David the Bravid @davagic]

Betman – Casino Royal. Now playing in cinemas.

[David the Bravid @davagic]

[first date]

- It‘s so nice to meet you!

[me, not able to hold it back any longer]

- I loved your Prezi from 10th grade!!