David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗

Check my replies for funny comments
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[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

My most popular tweet is my most shameful

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@imagesaicouldnt He should claim to be dyslexic. He meant "oh boy, that pussy!"

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@latsot I've let the internet make me cynical 💜

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@BernieBurnso @DreyfusJames You're not supposed to 'relax' in the stairs you dumb fuck

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@simpsonsfeed "Don't cry for me Barney, I'm already dead"

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@soilysound @TheSimonEvansX Very insightful

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@__shiticantsay @VictoriaCoren I didn't have to think about it

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@stolenvalorcop @problemsol65226 @tjsingletonjr @tanjil_rashid_ I don't approve of your use of 'would' in the above tweet

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@AllyFogg @joejoe419723966 @captive_dreamer If a source was provided you'd shift your position to "well, that explains the axe, but why was she carrying a knife?"

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@25YearsAgoLive I thought it was pronounced Mac-Vay

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@wexfordobrien @RuftynTufty @stellaomalley3 @PaulTreyvaud @griptmedia @Ben_Scallan I've thought about it, but there's more money in collecting cans and bottles

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@Richard96500946 @Tom_Rowsell That's a typo, he was barebacking

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@CathyYoung63 @JerryBarnett In assault cases, it is common for the perpetrator to be one calling the emergency services, and to give an inaccurate account of what happened.

I wonder why the police were so credulous in this case? 🤔

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@TommyCockles8 @ArchRose90

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@FestusBrave That's cool, what year was AD?

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@oJARDINEo @RestoreBritain @elonmusk @RupertLowe10 Macaulay Culkin is looking well

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@TinkeredThinker @LisaBritton Hell yeah 😎

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@Cormsbadger @dank_ackroyd Who?

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@ednewtonrex You should put that directly to Fiona Bruce, so she can pretend not to understand, and make a face like she just smelled a fart

[David Murphy 🌎🌍🌏🇮🇪 🪗 @davedaviddave2]

@Cakezera I like when something is left to the imagination, in this case her face