tolerating always turns into resentment. at first, you call it patience, then love. but what it really is, is self abandonment. every time you swallow a boundary, excuse a pattern or silence your discomfort, something inside you keeps score. eventually, the bill comes due.
i actually think "surface level" friendships are very healthy. not everyone in your life has to be your ride or die. some friends are for the gym. some are for going out. some are just for complaining about work or bureaucracy. when you stop expecting everyone to be your everything, the disappointment disappears. those deep convos and connections are for the 2-3 people closest to you