Dave

Shambrarian, beer drinker, code monkey. Library Systems Manager at a northern university.

[Dave @daveyp]

@BorisJohnson @RoyalFamily Remind me how many times you've had to formally apologise to the Queen? Sorry to hear that Carrie dumped you for Zack.

[Dave @daveyp]

@JamesCleverly Sorry to see that you've drawn the short straw to be Nadine "Pints o' Gin" Dorries today -- is she lying drunk in a ditch somewhere? Keep on fluffing that flaccid Johnson!

[Dave @daveyp]

@ABridgen This you? https://t.co/E2zXRIwrFY

[Dave @daveyp]

@tnewtondunn @TheNewsDesk Looks like Dominie and the kids found something more interesting to watch, Tim.

[Dave @daveyp]

@NadineDorries @NewStatesman Speaking of obsessive and creepy...

[Dave @daveyp]

@NadineDorries This your delivery, hun?

[Dave @daveyp]

@NadineDorries Sorry, Nads. Boris only has eyes for his beloved mistress Olga.

[Dave @daveyp]

@RicHolden @BorisJohnson Any normal person would have sent someone out to the nearest Co-op to fill up the wine suitcase. Ain't no party like the Tory party's parties.

[Dave @daveyp]

@markjenkinsonmp Keep fluffing that wobbly flaccid Johnson, Mark!

[Dave @daveyp]

@markjenkinsonmp Mr & Mrs Johnson send their love and best wishes

[Dave @daveyp]

@Hillingdon_Tory "SIMPSON WINS IN LANDSLIDE. Says 'crazy promises' key to victory."

[Dave @daveyp]

@BorisJohnson @Conservatives Free extra large deluxe wine suitcase with every vote #ToryPartyParty

[Dave @daveyp]

@NadineDorries #GlugGlugNads

[Dave @daveyp]

@paulbristow79 @MrJohnNicolson "Who's Olga?"

[Dave @daveyp]

@NadineDorries Keeping fluffing that flaccid Johnson, Nads!

[Dave @daveyp]

@BorisJohnson Is Lorraine from Ukraine?

[Dave @daveyp]

@NadineDorries Indeed -- any normal person would be on their fourth bottle of gin by 10pm.

[Dave @daveyp]

@neil_parish Tractor porn, eh? You kinky boy. Like your tax-payer funded wife said, "It’s demeaning. But on the other hand it takes two to tango. There must be tractors posing for all this."

[Dave @daveyp]

@Nigel_Farage Sorry to hear that Arron Banks stopped paying the Russian bot farm bills.

[Dave @daveyp]

@Mike_Fabricant Presumably by "boring mediocrity" you mean "someone who doesn't masturbate on live television"?