David

Retired Airline Captain now a Guest Speaker on Cruise Ships Worldwide and a popular After Dinner Speaker

[David @david747400]

@afneil It beggars belief!!If I knew where Euthanasia was, I'd buy her a one way ticket.

[David @david747400]

@PaulEmbery "Lunch is served"

[David @david747400]

@PaulEmbery That’s better. !

[David @david747400]

@Conkers999 You’re quite right. It rhymes with Trigger but we can’t use the actual name for a black Labrador and it was the code word for the (partial) success of the mission.

[David @david747400]

@CharlotteIvers You were brilliant on HIGNFY. I didn't even notice the 'blink'

[David @david747400]

@Livesnooker Has a red ever been potted from the break off shot?

[David @david747400]

@Col_is_Right Brilliant comedy, you bunch of bloody poofdahs

[David @david747400]

@BBCTwo That is stunningly cruel! A highly intelligent individual (not Cunk - the other one) keeping his cool in the onslaught by a female Ali G.

[David @david747400]

@Joshua_Levine Richard O’Sullivan? Are you sure she didn’t mean Ronnie?

[David @david747400]

@Joshua_Levine 3 already?? I thought I was joking when I said I hoped to meet her before she graduates!

[David @david747400]

@LKTranslator That’s a fake Laura Kuenssberg I think.

[David @david747400]

@dollyalderton Optimism or “In your wildest dreams...”

[David @david747400]

Your column in the ST gets ever better! I replied to your article on Hen Parties. Thanks for the entertainment. On my way out to buy your book.

[David @david747400]

@LDNairamb @laainthedesert You're very welcome! I meant every word! Charles is my son!.....proud Dad!

[David @david747400]

@GMB @PierMorgan @susannareid100 @Lauratobin1 @CharlotteHawkns What a complete aunt

[David @david747400]

@dollyalderton @Fig_Tree_Books @PenguinUKBooks A short book? Like 'Humorous Tales From Daesh'? or 'The Book of Welsh Rugby Tactics'? Only kidding - good luck with it. I'll buy it!

[David @david747400]

@dollyalderton Great to see you back in the Sunday Times Mag! Will they give you a page every week - please. Take over from India Knight.

[David @david747400]

I'm doing a stand-up gig at 'Teddy’s', 102 Upper Hale Road, Farnham, GU9 0PB on Sat 25 Feb at 7.30pm. FREE entry - pay on exit! All welcome