David Burton

Professional actor and writer, mostly comedy!!! Oh, I have been known to enjoy a glass of wine or two(?) as well.

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

@missjenjomet Hey! You look great, darling. Miss you loads. Hope you're OK, lovely 'pretendy' daughter! xxxx

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

I tried some of that revitalising shampoo yesterday. Big mistake. My hair was awake all night

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

Have just read they are proposing to phase out Roman numerals. Huh! Not on my watch.

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

Apparently, I keep putting things in the wrong containers in the kitchen.
Not Alzheimers.
That's a different kettle of fish

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

When I first went to school I knew I was different from the other five-year olds.
I was twenty-seven.

[Mel Churcher @MelChurcher]

No matter how good you are - the chance of someone discovering you is about the same as winning the lottery- this is a pro-active industry.

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

Just bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
So I had to buy them again.

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

@keithjackstage @keithjack @wolvesgrand. Break a leg, Keith and everyone involved. xxxx

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

Phoned my local Rambling Club earlier - and this bloke just went on and on.....

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

Just applied to become the new Pope.
Apparently, if I pay the VAT I can.

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

As an actor, I do try to get in touch with my inner child. But he's now allowed to speak to strangers.

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing...but you mean a Mother.

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

Facebook blocked me again...in the middle of a conversation. Puts up a form asking for Credit Card details!

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

Can't access Facebook now 'cos they say I've been blocked for sending 'spam' !!! I was only trying to 'meat' people.

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

Cinderella http://t.co/E7xZrrlF

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

Considered writing another new musical today, based on 'The Lord Of The Rings'. Then I thought, why change The Hobbits Of A Lifetime?

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

Only 1 week to go before Cinderella at Whitley Bay Playhouse starts. Another Christmas Day away from home for me. But still 'LOVE PANTO'.

[Panto Day @panto_day]

A big Thank You to @NodaTweets for spreading the #Panto Day far and wide!: http://t.co/IAQzgGMn

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

If we made a picture called 'Fifty Shades of Dorian Gray' now, would it win an Oscar? Or is that just a Wilde idea?

[David Burton @davidburtonact]

Diamond has resigned from his Club. He's all Heart. Should have been 'Spayed' along with the other 'suits'.