David Carliner

"Very handsome" -Vulture (he/him)

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

@hunteryharris Hunter!!!!! You are consistently too good to me

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

@hunteryharris

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

@EmilyTheytaz lol it never goes away!!

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

In 50 years I’ll be a climate refugee living on a sewage island that used to be LA and I’ll STILL have the dream where I can’t find my class schedule for the first day of school and now I’m late

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

Feeling homesick, testing my relationship

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

Hearing Buttons on the radio twice in one day? God wink

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

@BriLeRose You’re #1

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

Me, dropping an apt reference to The Odyssey at the end of my newsletter that three people will read in full

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

@pizzahutmama3 🥰

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

@spookystang https://t.co/ORAqJco9XO xoxo

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

My favorite kind of sentence to write is one that takes five minutes to read and without letters would look like ;;-(...[])--;

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

If you read the third word of my last 441 tweets, you’ll find that I’ve done this with Opposites Attract by Paula Abdul featuring MC Skat Kat

[Jeff is Tall @JeffisTallguy]

Yesterday by the Beatles is a pretty solid song. Read the first word of my last 126 tweets.

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

@thekperk @SirThornberry95 😔😔😔

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

@SirThornberry95 Diamond Gymnastics

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

@meowfiesta I’ll pay for you to get it

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

#NewProfilePic

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

@1800FAGDYKE @mexicanfaguette I watched the results at rock bottom 😖

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

HUGE day for uvulas

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

@carole_00 Let’s set up a playdate!

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

Naming my daughter (Socially Distanced Of Course) after my favorite caption to see on Instagram 💖

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

@hornburgalar It was a great Magic Kingdom!!

[David Carliner @davidcarliner]

My mom just did her birth chart and we have the same moon and rising signs! (Taurus, Capricorn)