david catney

🛒

[david catney @davidcatney]

the local pants situation is getting out of control. stop wearing pants!

[david catney @davidcatney]

@asdkfjasdlfjd a certain molecule synthesized by albert hoffman 🤭

[david catney @davidcatney]

is there a way to add like a scratchy/old film print filter to my eyeballs? i want the world to constantly look like an old “emanuelle” print

[david catney @davidcatney]

did a big fart and now i’m seeing new colours

[david catney @davidcatney]

peak tuesday cinema

[david catney @davidcatney]

having sober fun on a tuesday

[david catney @davidcatney]

starting to notice a strange smell in my car that i’ve a hunch originates from me not having any floor mats in my car this winter

[david catney @davidcatney]

i want to see ice explode into billions of tiny shards. i want to see the shards melt and turn into rain drops before my eyes. i want all the rain to evaporate the moment before it hits the ground. i want to try and video record this on my phone but not press record in time.

[david catney @davidcatney]

when i’m feeling sad i just start thinking empowering thoughts until i feel better. but yeah, do you have a bf?

[david catney @davidcatney]

scared that good looking young men will take me being drafted to war as an opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. i would rather the entire human population die an excruciating & pointless death than have even one good looking young man give my girlfriend an orgasm.

[david catney @davidcatney]

noticed i start speaking like tom delonge when i have gas.

[david catney @davidcatney]

i really like when horses do that “clopclopclop” thing

[david catney @davidcatney]

would really like to ride a horse to work. would also like to shoot all the bad people on earth with a big gun.

[david catney @davidcatney]

🥇hell yeah🏆

[david catney @davidcatney]

what a shocker!! “nuclear plant” aka e1m2 from the popular video game “doom” wins an oscar for best level in a video game. 2025 is the gift that keeps on gifting

[david catney @davidcatney]

enjoyed watching my nephew bang on drums and other noise making items

[david catney @davidcatney]

pulling a whopper (with cheese) out of every pocket on my person and feeding all my coworkers (work family). smiles abound. this is what i live (reluctantly) for!

[david catney @davidcatney]

@joylesshouse

[david catney @davidcatney]

as a security guard at the glow in the dark mini golf course, i take my job very seriously. i cover my naked body in duck fat and survey the course from a dark corner, hoping i won’t have to use violence again. but always ready for the possibility.

[david catney @davidcatney]

on my lunch break looking like bette davis in “of human bondage”