David James (Blauer)

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

This SUNDAY! PALAZIO POOL PARTY! #palazioaustin #poolparty #krutovodka

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

Trump went with the Y2J (Chris Jericho) intro tonight . I hope tomorrow he does the duck walk and lionsault. #RNCinCLE #ChrisJericho

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

Did Melania Trump just say "my benefactor" or is that what I wanted to hear.

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

@JeneBramel You use standard IDP scoring for your rankings. Where can I look at these scoring values?

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

Does this mean I can marry my penis?

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

Somewhere out there is a misinformed boy who feels less guilty about masturbating.

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

Or did he? https://t.co/NPbp0rw5f3

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

The Hobbit is 3 hours long. I have spent the last 2 trying to come up with a "Lord of the Cock Rings" joke.

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

David Blaine's greatest trick was making Fiona Apple disappear.

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

John Travolta pretending he is attracted to Idina Menzel is his best performance yet! #TheOscars2015

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

My wife - Is it a cumberbund. No it's a vest.
Me - No, it's a bad choice. #TheOscars2015

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

Best live action short should be called "try harder pussies" #theoscars2015

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

"And now for movies you will never watch, er um best foreign language film" #TheOscars2015

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

Why is one of the waiters onstage singing like a girl? #TheOscars2015 #AdamLevine

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

Wow. Ellen looks taller. #theoscars

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

If you count the rings under my eyes you will know how long I've been a parent.

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

Is it to soon to start talking about the mole on Malcolm Butler's head? #goodwingreatmole

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

@briangaar Or, Amputees are proof that God hates snakes.

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

The apple watch only costs $incessant nitpicking by Samsung fans.

[David James (Blauer) @davidjbombs]

Siri just farted and laughed at me when I tried to stream the #AppleEvent on my iPhone 4.