There are two main things you have to overcome in this world - the victim within you, and the hypocrite within you.
Your ego is the problem, and you are the solution.
@aNorCalCamper It is difficult, but with time it simply becomes apart of our being. It is to have true faith - to abandon our need for emotion and reaction. We think they allow us control, but really they are the very things taking control away from us.
Creating the egoless you starts as a step. It is a brief moment of present clarity. Then, it becomes a habit. Constantly grounding yourself in the present. Then it becomes a way of being. Meditation is great way to achieve that - it is creation of non-judgmental awareness.
Creation is how it feels, but with time it's a realization. The egoless you has always existed, we just feel we are creating or actualizing it. In reality, we are simply allowing it to be without getting in the way of it.
Forgiving others is important because it releases you from the emotional bondage of the trauma you experienced. Otherwise, you have a set reaction in place and allow others to have a bit of power over your state of being.
@aNorCalCamper We often think of ego as the voice that tells us we are better than others, but it is the same voice who tells us we are not good enough. It brings on our suffering like no other can. Best we learn to overcome it for that very reason.
We are all trying to figure out who we are, we do it by test driving new identities. To figure out who you are, instead, work to figure out who you are not. Shed the negative aspects of identity that you have given to yourself to see who you really are.
Ego is where our feelings of false entitlement come from, especially in relation to desiring the suffering of others. This is clearly depicted through the crucifixion of Christ.
Most mental life hacks seek to help you transcend ego - mostly through the power of presence. To truly be present is to be without ego, or at least without it being dominant. Mindfulness, breathing techniques... they force you to be here and now, without past and future self.
Another way to put it - ego is an investment we make in external identities, often born of circumstances or reactions. Taking something temporary and trying to make it permanent.
Ego - the idea you have of yourself based on external identities. Ego is a tool for you to navigate life, not something you should lose your actual Self to.