davidmay

[davidmay @davidpatrickmay]

@FM104Phoneshow just give them to me Plz I haven't got 20cent

[davidmay @davidpatrickmay]

http://t.co/8LgbSPRlKZ

[davidmay @davidpatrickmay]

@brianormond79 why don't you just sell the car a give the money

[davidmay @davidpatrickmay]

Teacher: "If you have 10 pieces of candy and Jamal asks for one how many do you have?" Me: 10”

[Sarcasm! @DamnHiIarious]

Bitches or not, 99 problems is still a shitload of problems.

[Speak Comedy @SpeakComedy]

I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

[Sarcasm! @DamnHiIarious]

Dear Tom, it`s been 30+ years and you`re not going to eat Jerry. Sincerely, it`s time to move on...

[Sarcasm! @DamnHiIarious]

I don't know why people are surprised i have trust issues when we live in a world where sometimes naps just make you more tired

[Speak Comedy @SpeakComedy]

Everyone has three lives: A public life, A private life, And A secret life.

[davidmay @davidpatrickmay]

@ronanofficial cheeky

[davidmay @davidpatrickmay]

Can't figure this word.. Help me out! #whatstheword@ http://t.co/oMQzuRgjYU