daviswesson

Comic

[daviswesson @daviswesson]

Seeing Miley Cyrus on Black Mirror

Me(fully committed) - I cant believe her and Liam Neeson aren’t together!

[daviswesson @daviswesson]

Nobody:

Literally nobody at all:

Guys on reality shows: I just need to know where I stand.

[daviswesson @daviswesson]

Me as a husband if I don’t work on this self esteem.

Wife: Babe I can’t believe we’re going to have a kid. You’re all I ever wanted in a man. I’m so lucky.

Me: So you like me, right?

[daviswesson @daviswesson]

Everyone: How bad is your social anxiety?

Me: I’m nervous about the crowd at my funeral.

[daviswesson @daviswesson]

When you lied on the resumé but actually get called for an interview. #DemDebate2

[daviswesson @daviswesson]

The debate sounds like a bunch of drunk friends interrupting each other to let each other know about the new IHOP menu
#debate #DemocraticDebate2020 #Bernie2020 #IHOP #Beto2020