Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site)

pronouns in bio: they/them \\ retweets are simultaneous endorsement and condemnation \\ 👾 \\ BLM \\ ACAB \\ abolish police and the senate

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

“I know exactly what you need”, said the doctor. “Great clown Pagli-“

Pagliacci yanked off his bright red foam nose and pounded the desk in one furious motion. “Motherfucker, I came here straight from work!”

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@ANice_driver Why is Venus sideways oh no she's being kidnapped

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@Fuckminster @kamenism I feel bad for how the elephant is going to feel explaining the YouTube video of the fight to its children.

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@Fuckminster I have beaten a goose in a fight, so I'm pretty sure of at least that much. A medium sized dog is gonna depend on the dog, and an eagle is gonna depend on what species, so let's just say goose, to be on the side of evidence-based asskicking.

[Fairy Gothmother, MD @jenny2x4]

you aren’t supposed to post all the other guy’s bangers like this

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@Cassprophet_see @muddaub I'm about one to two months from buying a chainsaw and afraid my life will forever be split into "before chainsaw" and "after chainsaw".

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@muddaub I got a battery-powered reciprocating saw to remove some of the original roof in my attic (long story), and I was like "holy crap, I can destroy EVERYTHING now! I should never own a gun."

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@migazevedo @Kyle_MacLachlan Kyle MacLachlan between takes:

[Kyle MacLachlan @Kyle_MacLachlan]

thought I was off camera

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@Version69420 Losing my mind over that first sentence.

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@WhackNicholson I miss dedicated, professional voice actors.

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@BadMedicalTakes Now that I've seen the tweet, I have also read that, but I'm not going to go around telling people.

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@_Anunnery @tmorello More importantly, do they even CARE?

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@muddaub I couldn't remember Jordan Peterson's name so I googled* "pop psychologist whose daughter put him into a coma with meat" and it worked.

* duckduckgo, actually

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@muddaub Jordan Peterson bringing those "what if the Joker was a Maytag repairman" vibes.

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

As a person with type O blood, I can confirm this.

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@koshersemite Hard to believe they could have stopped working in death camps at any time but they just kept following orders. I guess they didn't hate it *that* much, not enough to make a stand.

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@PapaFazuul Falafel and fries is good, but that looks like shit.

[Dayv (dayv.wtf on the other site) @dayv]

@nieltown @wil_da_beast630 @DanFriedman81 Dude definitely thinks it's ok to shoot them, probably also to look at them naked.